Dirty Deeds
by Adamantwrites
Summary: It is a truth that the more one has, the more there is to lose, but Adam fears he will lose it all just to sate another's quest for vengeance. Adult situations, violence. All recognizable settings and plots are the property of their respective owners. All original characters and plots are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.
1. Chapter 1

**1….To Divide the Child**

If Miss Silverglade's manager, Frank Kaley, hadn't recognized him, Adam knew he would be standing with all her other admirers at the stage door exit who waited to glimpse her, to proffer a bouquet of flowers and long for a look, a smile of acknowledgement. But instead, Adam was led to her dressing room door.

"Thank you, Frank. I hated to think of standing in the throng outside."

"You're welcome, Adam. It's good to see you again; glad you're well. I guess you caught the performance." It had been at least two years since Frank had seen Adam Cartwright, but the man was still as elegant and impressive as he had been the first time he had lingered after the performance at Piper's Opera House to speak with Miss Ava Silverglade, touted as having a voice more beautiful than any angel's. Adam held the same opinion but he would have added, "and a face more lovely."

"Yes, I saw it. She was in excellent voice." Adam smiled but he didn't want to make small talk; he wanted to see Ava.

"You noticed, didn't you?"

"Oh, you mean the change in the range of music. Yes, I noticed."

"She can't hit those high notes anymore; it's caused her more than a little anxiety. She knew her voice, like anyone else's would eventually fail but she didn't think it would be so early; she's only just turned 35."

Frank still waited outside the dressing room for Adam's response. "Well, if it's any consolation to her, she's still stunning."

Frank chuckled. "She found a gray hair the other day and noticed some lines about her mouth and eyes; almost smashed the mirror. She feels her career hasn't much time left. She's…feeling a little desperate. Be understanding of her and what she asks." The man left Adam standing alone, wondering just why he was being cautioned to be understanding. Had Ava told tales about him that exaggerated his temper, that implied he was hard-headed and unreasonable?

With his knuckles, palm toward himself, Adam lightly knocked on the dressing room door. The older woman, Mrs. Jepson, who helped Ava dress and do her hair and who never left her side, opened it. When he and Ava had married, Adam had sarcastically asked Ava if Mrs. Jepson was going to be in their bed that night, assisting her. Ava had only glared at him but then she had been in an ill humor that day anyway.

"Mr. Cartwright, so good to see you."

"How are you, Mrs. Jepson." Adam doffed his top hat.

"Oh, I'm well, thank you. Please, come in." She felt a slight thrill in Adam's presence; he was so handsome, so alive that even at her advanced age, when he looked at her, she felt she was the only woman he saw. Mrs. Jepson stepped aside and Adam stepped into the small room. He saw Ava sitting at the make-up table, the surface covered with pots of cosmetics, brushes and combs and fancy-topped pins with which to put up her auburn hair. She turned slowly to look at him and her beauty still took his breath away.

"Hello, Ava."

"Hello, Adam. It's good to see you again." She broke off their gaze. "Mrs. Jepson, would you mind leaving us?"

The older woman said nothing, just went through another door into a back room, leaving them alone.

Still sitting at the vanity bench in her chemise, corset and voluminous petticoats, Ava's long, pale throat was without the paste necklace worn during the performance. Ava motioned at a chair over which was thrown the gown she had worn for that evening. "Please sit down, Adam. Just toss that thing on the floor; it has a ripped side seam anyway."

"Too many pastries?" Adam asked with a slight smirk.

"I see you haven't changed," Ava said. "Still your same insulting, sarcastic self, I see."

"I apologize. But you haven't changed; you still take my breath away."

Ava waited, judging Adam's remark for sincerity. His face was expressionless but his eyes again held that familiar hunger, as if he would sooner revel in her flesh than talk. But that had always been their problem.

"Sorry I had to ask to meet here, Adam, but I hadn't expected you to arrive so soon. I have to say, you look very handsome tonight." She had noticed the sharp figure Adam made in his cutaway jacket and striped trousers. And she had again experienced the thrill of his dark looks and his half-smile as she had the first time they met when he had come backstage to ask her to dinner. Ava had to admit that at one time, she had loved him desperately, but she had known from the start, just as Adam had, that it wouldn't last. It couldn't last or they would eventually hate each other…and they were close to that point now.

"Why did you want to see me? What's the matter?" Adam asked as he pushed the gold-embroidered gown aside so he could sit. He dropped his top hat on the floor and sat back, stretching his legs out. He watched Ava; she was clever and dangerous – at least to him. When he was with her, Adam's moral compass left true north.

"Well, perhaps we should talk tomorrow after all," Ava said as she finished wiping off her stage makeup. "I have a dinner date and I need to dress."

"No. Tell me now, Ava. I didn't come all this way just to be put off. What is it you want? Is it Kitty? Is there something wrong with her?" He had tried to keep thoughts like that out of his mind because just considering that something might be wrong with Kitty caused incipient panic to almost strangle him. He had fought with it all the way to San Francisco, actually, ever since Ava's wire had come even though it seemed a harmless enough missive:

 _Please come SF Stop Need to discuss matter of import Stop Ava_

"Her name is Katharine, remember? Katharine." Ava sighed; there was no changing Adam. "There's nothing wrong, so to speak, but it is about her." Reflected in the mirror, Ava saw Adam's face react, saw him start to rise from his chair, his body coiled like a panther's ready to pounce. Ava turned to face him. "As a matter of fact, she's asleep in the next room with the costumes." Ava breathed easier as Adam relaxed. She hated confronting him but knew what she said next would cause an argument. Of that she was certain.

"Then what?"

"I need you to take her." Ava waited for Adam to react.

Adam watched his wife evenly, unsure. "What do you mean, 'take her'? For the night? For the week? Month?"

"For the next few years."

Adam knew he needed to stay calm, to not explode, especially since he saw fear in Ava's eyes. Was he so awful, so harsh in his anger that she actually feared him? He knew he could be cruelly sarcastic, insulting, his way of striking out when hurt but he had worked hard to curb those tendencies. He remained silent, waiting for Ava to continue.

Ava rose and began to pace back and forth in the small room, wringing her hands. "You see, Adam, in two months, I'm going to tour Europe. You know, performing in Rome, Paris and such and I can't drag Katharine around like a piece of luggage. She's not yet four and that kind of life, well, it's not for a child. I have a new patron who's paying my fare and all the expenses of the new gowns and hotels and he's going to pay for the venues as well. Why even Mrs. Jepson is having to stay behind. Only my manager is going along. You see, my patron feels…"

"What you really mean," Adam said, sitting forward, watching Ava, "is that you have a wealthy lover who wants to spirit you off to Europe and doesn't want a child along and the sooner you're rid of Kitty, the happier he'll be."

"What if I do have a lover? So what? Why should you care? And don't give me that look! You're always so judgmental, Adam! I can still hear your voice booming, 'No child of mine is going to be a bastard!' And that righteous speech you gave me about marriage being the only way to make things right. Then practically dragging me to the justice of the peace!"

"You didn't fight very much!' Now Adam was out of his chair, facing Ava. All his pent-up anger and frustration over the past few years coming back in full force. "All I had to do was wave money in front of your face, didn't I, and you were more than happy to marry me. We could have been happy, Ava, all three of us, but no, you had to get back to the stage and your parties and your admirers! You wanted diamond bracelets and furs and ball gowns and you treat Kitty as just another accessory to make you look better when it serves your purpose but now she's a hindrance, isn't she!"

"Don't you dare lecture me about how I treat Katharine! I love her! It was you, you and that family of yours! All of you just wanted to make her a Cartwright and keep both of us on that damned farm of yours! I refused and that's what eats at you, that you couldn't control me! I won't grow old stuck in the wilderness and I won't have it for my daughter either!"

"Not unless it serves your purpose! I'm happy to take Kitty with me – it's what I always wanted – but now that you don't want her with you anymore, now that she disrupts your plans for your career, now it's fine that she becomes a 'Cartwright' and lives on a 'farm'!"

"You smug bastard! I'd take her with me to Europe if I could but I can't, and you act as if you're doing me a favor! You never loved her, did you, never loved either of us?"

"Don't even start with that. You left me, remember? You took Kitty with you just to punish me!"

Ava harshly laughed. "Punish you? If I'd wanted to punish you. All I had to do…" She stopped, seeing the pain in Adam's face. Ava knew not to go too far again. In the past, she had hurt him terribly by flirting outrageously with his friends, embarrassing him with her extreme behavior, and then taking Kitty away with her when he so obviously adored his daughter. But she had rationalized that Adam was trying to suffocate her by forcing her to be a wife and mother, two roles for which she wasn't made. But she had tried – she could honestly tell herself she had tried.

Ava and Adam stared at one another. And then it was as if Adam suddenly deflated and he sunk back down into the chair, dropping his head in his hands. Ava stepped toward him, gingerly touching his black hair and it brought back the sensuality of their former relationship, the caresses, his deep, thrilling voice in the dark as they lay in each other's arms after passionate coupling. Ava loved him still despite the anger and the frustration she felt in all their dealings.

Adam looked up and took her hand, gently pulling her down until she was on her knees before him. He held Ava's face in his hands and examined it. There were lines forming about her deep blue eyes, but other than that, to him, she was flawless except for the few small freckles across her cheeks that she always attempted to cover with powder. That was another reason she had hated the Ponderosa – there was no escaping the sun and she had fretted about it ruining her skin.

"Ava, you know I'll take Kitty back with me – but are you sure it's what you want? I'd really prefer both of you return with me. She loves you. I know that. The last time I had her, she did nothing but cry for you the whole time. I know she's older now but we hardly know each other. It'll break her heart to be away from you. And, Ava, I still love you. Maybe we could start anew."

Ava reached up and held onto Adam's wrists. Just touching his skin set her senses aflame. "Adam, it's funny; she's her father's daughter - so much like you it's almost laughable – but it's impossible for me to keep her right now. Please, since you say you still care for me, take Kitty back with you and in a year or so, when I return, then we'll see what happens."

Adam roughly released Ava's face and she caught herself before she tumbled backwards. He stood up and Ava managed to stand again; their tender moment was gone.

"Fine, Ava," Adam said. "But no matter what, there's no divorce. You remember that. So, enjoy your 'patron' but keep in mind that you can't marry him. No other man is going to be Kitty's father."

"You mean my husband. Now who's punishing whom?" Ava walked over to the door through which Mrs. Jepson had exited, opened it and walked in while Adam waited. He didn't know what to expect but then he heard Kitty's small voice, protesting about being waked. Adam's heart stepped up. He hadn't expected Kitty to be there but he was going to see his daughter now. He walked to the door and looked in. On a small cot in the middle of the hanging costumes and trunks, Kitty had been sleeping but she was now awake and sitting up. She had deep auburn hair like her mother and her curls were in disarray. Ava picked her up and carried her to the door. Adam stepped back to give them room and Mrs. Jepson followed carrying a large valise.

Then Adam realized that Ava wanted him to take Kitty tonight with no chance to slowly win her over.

"Katharine," Ava said to her daughter who snuggled against her, "you remember your father, don't you? You saw him a year ago, remember?" Kitty hid her face against her mother, putting her arms about her mother's neck. She avoided looking at her father.

"Of course, she doesn't remember," Adam said. "She wasn't even three." He reached out and touched her auburn curls; their softness made him ache with love. Kitty pulled her head away and hid her face against her mother's shoulder. "I brought you a doll, Kitty. It's at my hotel. Would you like to see it?" The child still avoided looking at him. "Kitty? Wouldn't you like to go with me to see your new doll? It has blue eyes just like you, and wears a bonnet and a pink dress and black shoes—little black shoes with buckles just like you're wearing."

With his child so close, Adam itched to hold her, to kiss her cheeks and feel her arms about his own neck. But he knew he had to wait, to have patience.

"Katharine," Ava said, no longer indulgent. "You have to stay with your father for a while. He'll take care of you."

"No," Kitty said and held on tighter, wrapping her legs about her mother's waist.

"I don't have time for this now. Please, Katharine, please be a good girl and go with your father."

"No! Won't go!"

"Ava," Adam said, "this can wait until a better time. Tomorrow I can take the two of you out for the day and then…"

"Do you think it'll be any easier then? It wouldn't matter if it was a month from now!" Ava's chin quivered and she struggled not to cry. "Despite what you think of me, I'm not unnatural! It breaks my heart…Please, Adam, just take her now."

Adam reached for Kitty and held onto her while Ava disentangled the protesting child's arms and legs. Finally, Adam held his child close, his heart pounding, but Kitty shrieked, reaching out for her mother, her small fingers opening and closing, struggling in Adam's grasp.

"Kitty," Adam said in an effort to comfort her, "It'll be all right. It'll be all right." But the child continued to arch her back and kick while she cried, her hands grasping the air.

"Mr. Cartwright, I'll go with you to the curb to get a hack," Mrs. Jepson said, her eyes filling with tears. "I have her bag."

"Mrs. Jepson," Adam said, struggling with his child, "If you'll stay the night to help calm Kitty, maybe even accompany us on the train, I'll make it worth your time."

"Ma'am?" Mrs. Jepson asked Ava.

"Yes. Go, go. You're not coming to Europe anyway. Just go-all of you." And Ava finally broke into tears. "Just go…go…"

People on the street stared at the handsome, well-dressed man holding the red-faced, struggling child who wept pathetically, calling for her mother. "The probably think I'm abducting her," Adam said to Mrs. Jepson. "Here, you hold her. She knows you."

"Yes, sir," Mrs. Jepson said and setting down the large valise, she took Kitty from Adam. Immediately the child clung to the woman and her crying softened in intensity but she still wanted her mother, asking for her over and over.

 _I don't even know my own child well enough that she's happy to go with me,_ Adam considered. But he hoped that would change over time. And they probably would have a great deal of time because if the French and Italians vaunted Ava's beauty and voice, he doubted she would ever return. And that was fine by him.


	2. Chapter 2

**2….The Broken Doll**

The night held a chill so Adam had requested the fire be lit and now it warmed the well-furnished hotel room. The atmosphere in such a room would be described as welcoming, even soothing to any traveler as the furniture was elegant, yet comfortable, and the wood, a light pecan polished to a sheen. The room was well-lit by the many wall sconces and the wood floors were covered by thick rugs.

Since the end of the war, San Francisco had rapidly grown, expanded, and was an even more exciting city than it had been. No longer was the emphasis on finding gold because one's fortune could be found in business enterprises. Ships from all over the world arrived in San Francisco, importing and exporting goods, making the docks a miniature cosmos, a Tower of Babel after God's curse, with different languages heard and much confusion. The ships and their often-questionable cargo, required more federal agents in the area to ensure the proper tariffs were collected and that no people from foreign countries were being smuggled in. Due to the influx of people in San Francisco, more houses needed to be built and more means of providing entertainment. That led to more brothels going up, more gambling establishments built and more hotels of all types, catering to a variety of clientele.

The Occidental Hotel had expanded, building a new section, a more luxurious section and then went about slowly renovating the basic hotel. Adam secured a small suite in the newest section where all the rooms had gas lighting, running water and flush toilets in the lavatories off the bedrooms. Mrs. Jepson was impressed with the expensive surroundings and mentioned that it must have cost Adam a "pretty penny" to stay in such a set of rooms. Adam was glad he had taken the rooms which _had_ cost him a "pretty penny"; since Mrs. Jepson was with them, she and Kitty could sleep in the large bed with privacy ensured, while he slept in the outer sitting room.

Adam had originally decided on the plush suite, not because he worried about his own comfort – after all – he had slept on the rock-hard ground many times in the past and had the sore back to prove it. But Adam had chosen the rooms in hopes Ava had reconciliation in mind; he had nursed the desire that it would be so, that once again, he and Ava would tussle in the sheets and glory in their passionate coupling. As he had watched her performance that night, Adam had felt the familiar stirring of his blood, the warmth in his belly as he remembered her singular scent and how her flesh burned under his hands. But now he knew better and was disgusted with himself for even considering taking up with Ava again. Adam rested his head on the antimacassar of the wing chair, his legs extended, crossed at the ankles, his feet on a hassock.

The whole way to the hotel, despite Mrs. Jepson's efforts to calm her, Kitty cried for her mother, cried that she wanted to go back and basically, thrashed about on Mrs. Jepson's lap, Adam taking the occasional, errant kick from her small feet.

"Mr. Cartwright, if you would, her doll is in the valise – on top. It's a rag doll."

Adam unbuckled the valise and saw a doll, well-loved, it's yarn hair frayed. He pulled it out and handed it to Mrs. Jepson who took it and said, "Look, Kitty! It's Jemmy. Don't you want Jemmy?"

"No!" Kitty sobbed and grabbed the doll and threw it. Adam dodged the rag doll and picked it up off the floor of the cab. He tucked it back in the valise and turned his head to look out the window. He felt useless.

Once the hack pulled up to the Occidental, Adam tried to take his child from Mrs. Jepson, but Kitty would have none of him; she slapped at his arms and again protested about being taken from her mother. The desk clerk looked at Adam oddly when he stood before him with a shrieking child and a woman who looked close to tears herself. Adam asked for a mug of warm milk to be sent up to his room. The desk clerk obliged and asked no questions. After all, the man had one of their most expensive suites and at least he hadn't brought home some drunken hangers-on or a few professional ladies as some businessmen did. Then Adam realized he hadn't eaten; he had been saving his appetite for taking Ava to dinner after her performance, but that wasn't going to happen now.

"Mrs. Jepson, have you and Kitty eaten?"

While struggling with Kitty who now loudly demanded she be put down, Mrs. Jepson replied that she and Kitty had already eaten, and thanked him anyway. Adam asked for a beef sandwich and coffee to be sent up as well as the milk, and then, since there were a few flights of stairs to his room, Adam pulled Kitty from Miss Jepson's arms, assuming that the child would be too much of a burden for Mrs. Jepson to carry to the 4th floor. A boy of about 15 dressed in a hotel uniform, on direction from the desk clerk, had rushed to carry Kitty's large bag.

"Don't want you!" Kitty wailed, struggling within Adam's arms, bending backwards as if she wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

"Right now," Adam said tightly, "it doesn't matter what you want." Kitty struck out and slapped Adam's cheek. His top hat fell off when he jerked back his head. The young boy put down the valise and chased after the hat as it rolled down the steps. Adam stopped on the second-floor landing and put Kitty down. She stared up at him, her blue eyes wide; she hadn't expected this. The child suddenly stopped crying – more from surprise than anything else. Her round cheeks were flushed and hot, tears still on her face and her nose was running. Adam kneeled down and in his best imitation of his father, shook his finger at Kitty. "Now you listen to me, young lady. You need to stop all this right now. We're going upstairs, you and me and Mrs. Jepson, and no more fussing or crying or I'll tan your feathers. Do you understand?" Kitty stared at him, her lower lip quivering; she didn't answer. Adam raised his voice. "Do you understand?" Kitty nodded and Adam saw tears start again, coursing down her cheeks.

 _Oh, hell. Now I've terrified her._ "Kitty, I'm going to carry you up these stairs and you're going to behave. And when we get where we're going, I'll put you down. And then you can see the new doll I brought you."

Kitty said nothing. She still cried but now it was silently. Adam took out his handkerchief and wiped her nose and dabbed her cheeks, his heart softening. She was as lovely as her mother – would be more so when she grew to a woman and after all, she was just a child and his child at that. Adam gently picked her up under her arms, noting how stiff she was as he lifted her; she wasn't going to give him anything that could remotely pass as affection. _My own child hates me._ But he held her in his arms and Kitty remained quiet.

But despite all that, once they were in the suite, things hadn't progressed.

Adam reached up and loosened another shirt button as he reached for his coffee and took a sip; it was now tepid. Looking at what lay on the sofa – the doll he had bought Kitty – Adam snorted with disgust and shook his head. The doll lay with almost one whole side of its celluloid head cracked and shattered, the blonde wig under its bonnet, keeping together parts of the skull. It looked like a diabolical, demon child, its one remaining blue eye still staring blankly. And all his high hopes were shattered as well.

He had imagined Kitty would be happy, delighted with the beautiful new doll and would throw her small arms about his neck and thank him for the gift, perhaps even kiss his cheek. Little girls loved gifts, especially beautiful dolls. He had given friends' children presents many times – dolls, candy, a spinning top, many gifts, and the children were always delighted and grateful. Kitty would be the same way – wouldn't she?

Adam had leaned down and eagerly handed the new doll to Kitty, waiting with a smile for her reaction. She had held the doll and stared at it for a few heartbeats. Adam waited. The doll was dressed in pink satin with white, lace-trimmed pantalettes and a matching bonnet decorated with a few small cloth roses. The doll's painted face had rosy cheeks and a small pink mouth but the large blue eyes, lined with black lashes, dominated its features.

Mrs. Jepson, having removed her own hat, had kneeled beside Kitty. "Oh, what a beautiful new doll! It's prettier even than your Jemmy, isn't it?" Mrs. Jepson smiled up at Adam who finally relaxed; Kitty had stopped crying and seemed entranced with the beautiful new doll. "Thank your father for the present, Kitty." Kitty looked up at Adam and then back down at the doll. "Kitty, what do we say when someone gives us something?"

Kitty looked to Mrs. Jepson and then to Adam. She took the doll by one of its arms, swung it, and it slammed against the wall. Pieces of celluloid flew.

"Why you ungrateful, spiteful, little heathen!" Adam said. He was appalled at his child's reaction. But Kitty stared at him defiantly.

"I hate it! I hate you! I want my Mommy!"

Adam wanted to snatch up Kitty, to swat her behind, but refrained. He picked up the ruined doll and looked at it. He wanted to shake it in front of Kitty's face, to make her see what she had done, how she had ruined the expensive gift he had chosen just for her. His chest heaved but he managed to utter to Mrs. Jepson. "Just…" He put out one hand, made a dismissive motion, and carrying the doll, walked out. He tossed the doll on the sofa, pulled off his jacket and cravat, throwing them on the sofa as well. He wished he had also asked for bottle of Napoleon brandy and some good cigars sent up along with the food.

So, Adam sat in the outer room and his sandwich remained untouched. He no longer had an appetite. He felt weary and hopeless, had heard Kitty refusing the warm milk, saying it tasted bad and she wanted her mother to be there – her mother could make it better. Over and over, Kitty whined as Mrs. Jepson dressed her for bed. Adam could hear Mrs. Jepson's struggle with his child and he felt guilty. He should be the one tending to her but then he didn't trust himself not to lose his patience as the day had already stretched him to his limits. But Kitty was his, part of him, and he believed he should be able to manage her. But Kitty was as intractable as her mother. _And Ava said she was like me_. Adam sighed. But he had recognized another in his daughter's face. When Kitty had set her jaw and defiantly faced him down, Adam was taken aback at her expression; he could have been looking at his father. Had the circumstances been different, more pleasant, Adam would have laughed at the resemblance.

But the circumstance weren't pleasant. But there was no blaming Kitty. A child should love its mother – that was only natural - and she was so young. _This is all your own fault. You should have gone to court, should have done more to have custody of your child, but everyone said a female child is better off with her mother. Everyone. I should have said, not when her mother's a vain, selfish, woman who can't provide stability in the child's life._ But Adam knew he wasn't being fair.

It was his own fault his daughter didn't know him, didn't love him. He should have met up with them more as Ava traveled to different performances around the country. There was the short time in Baltimore when Kitty had been less than a year old but even then, it took a while for the child to allow herself to be held by the stranger he was. Adam had sat on the floor, playing with his daughter who seemed to like peek-a-boo. She would chortle when Adam revealed his face from behind his large hands. But most of all, he relished holding Kitty as she slept in his arms, noting her small, rosebud mouth and her tiny fingers and hands. And her feet – he would kiss the small soles of her feet as they played on the blanket on the floor.

And then a bit over a year later, Adam had met up with Ava and Kitty in Kansas City, Missouri. Ava was in bad temper the whole time, saying that the audiences were crude yokels who could never possibly appreciate her voice; the men hooted with delight when she appeared and called out for her to sing songs that she considered vulgar and common—saloon songs. She ranted and railed to Frank, her manager. But at night, Ava went to Adam, met him at his hotel and they enjoyed each other every night the week he was there. At that time, Kitty had been secondary as it was Ava he wanted back, it was she he courted and placated, it was Ava he indulged and spoiled, bringing her a sapphire bracelet.

Adam had tried to take time with his daughter but she was suspicious of him and clung to her mother's skirts, peering at him from behind. Ava had laughingly coached Kitty to call Adam "Pa," but the child refused. "It'll take a while, Adam. She doesn't take to people quickly."

Adam sighed and his chest ached with longing and sadness. It was his own fault. He settled deeper into the wing chair and closed his eyes, feeling the day's tensions begin to recede. Until he heard the door open. Adam sat up. Mrs. Jepson, her face white and drawn, stood a few steps inside the room.

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes, sir, finally. I tried to explain you were her father but to be honest, I don't think she really knows what I'm talking about. I mean, when you'd send gifts for birthdays and Christmas, Miss Ava would say they were from you, her father, but I think to Kitty, you and Santa Claus were the same person."

Adam sat forward. "Thank you for staying and helping…I truly have no idea what I would've done without you."

"It was a pleasure to help. I love the child, I do. I know she may seem a hateful child but I think she's more afraid than anything else. Lately, Miss Ava hasn't had much time for her with all the excitement about Europe and all the preparations…well, Kitty is a sad little girl. I commend you for not spanking her—she certainly tried you."

"To be honest, I didn't know if I'd be able to stop waling once I started." Adan chuckled and Mrs. Jepson smiled.

"Kitty hasn't had much in the way of discipline. Miss Ava more or less lets the child do as she wants, eat what she wants when she wants because, well, I think she feels a bit guilty about the child not having a home, traveling all the time and such."

"Mrs. Jepson, if you wouldn't think you'd be compromising any confidences, who is Miss Ava's newest patron?"

"Oh, him. It's Mr. Hanover – Jason D. Hanover. From what I know, he's made his money – and quite a bit of it, at that - investing in railroads. He has a huge mansion on Nob Hill above the city with porticoes and pillars and stables in the back. The floors are Italian marble and it's filled with antiquities from Greece and other places I've never heard of before, but then I'm ignorant of such sophisticated things. But Miss Ava is very impressed with him. That's where we've been staying, Miss Ava, Kitty and me since I help take care of the child as well. But now that they're going to Europe, well, for a while now, Miss Ava's been talking about sending Kitty to you. I suggested that she ask you to come here to fetch the child. I thought it would be easier if Miss Ava explained things. She had told Kitty many times that her father would be coming and that he was rich and handsome and was going to give her horses and new dresses and dolls galore and she would live in a big house with him like a princess. I suppose I was wrong and it didn't help make things easier."

"No, I think this was better. At least I don't know how it could be worse." They both smiled. "Well, thank you again. And you're still accompanying us on the train, right?"

"Yes, sir. I'll have to go pack my things in the morning but I'll return. Now, if you don't mind, sir, I think I'll turn in."

Adam nodded, said goodnight, and Mrs. Jepson went into the bedroom and closed the door. Adam dropped back into the chair and placed his feet on the hassock, closing his eyes, hoping for sleep to quickly come. _I'll try harder. Kitty will love me – eventually. It'll happen over time. Over time._ But he knew he had received exactly what he deserved. _As we sow, so shall we reap._


	3. Chapter 3

**3….The Hobby Horse**

"So, Mrs. Jepson's staying on a while. And you say she's been with Ava for years?"

Adam was glad to be home, glad to be able to give Kitty over to more able hands but he didn't want to discuss Ava - especially with his father who had never really cared for Ava although he had always been gracious. But then Ava had behaved horribly the year and a half she had lived on the Ponderosa, throwing temper tantrums and peevishly complaining about the isolation and the destruction of her figure by her burgeoning abdomen. Nevertheless, Adam didn't want to start a discussion that would end with his father concluding that Kitty and Adam were both better off without a vain, self-serving woman who could so eagerly toss aside her daughter and a loyal assistant for a last moment in the spotlight.

"She's going to live with her sister – the arrangements have already been made - but she said she could stay three days. That gives me three days to work some sort of magic with my daughter. But, Pa, if it hadn't been for Mrs. Jepson, I don't how I would've managed Kitty on the train. Kitty wouldn't eat, wanted to get off the train and constantly whined about – everything! She even made up things to complain about. Her stomach hurt, her finger hurt, she was afraid of tigers, afraid of bears and 'ephants'. I told her that we were safe on the train—lions and bears don't ride trains, I said, but Kitty insisted they did. Then Mrs. Jepson said they had once seen a circus train in San Francisco and Kitty had been both intrigued and terrified. So much for any comfort I could provide. The only positive is that Kitty'd wear herself out and eventually the regular sounds of the rails would put her to sleep. Thank God the trip was only one day. She did like looking out the window though. She'd kneel on the seat and just be mesmerized by the passing scenery. I had to laugh though, when she spotted some cows. It was the only time Kitty got excited and spoke to me, telling me to look, that there were cows."

"You need to show her Dotsie. It might win you favor."

"Seeing a cow from a passing train and having one in your face are two different things; I don't think Kitty would be any too happy and she'd add cows to her 'menagerie of fear'. Actually, I don't know that anything but going back to Ava will make her happy."

"Give her time, Adam. Give her time. She's just a child and all this – it's upsetting. Her whole world's been turned upside down."

"I know that. I keep reminding myself but it's not easy. Kitty's a hard-headed, stubborn child."

"A Cartwright? Stubborn?"

Adam looked at his father and chuckled. "Yeah, imagine that."

"At least she comes by it honestly." Ben puffed on his pipe. It had been a long day and he hadn't been a success either with his first grandchild. When he saw her, his heart jumped and he wanted to kiss her, to hold her, but she clenched her hands to her chest in small fists and hunched up her shoulders, tightly closing her eyes when he hugged her as if it was painful to endure. It had hurt Ben's feelings.

When Adam had wired ahead that he was returning with Kitty, that he had custody, Ben had been overjoyed. Hoss and Joe, who had only known Kitty as an infant, were excited as well. Even Hop Sing reacted with delight. Another Cartwright, another person to enjoy his cooking and a child at that. "Long time since Hop Sing have child to make cookies for. Little girl too!"

Joe bubbled over with inspired energy. "We can make-up that small room across the hall from Hoss for her," Joe suggested. "Get some dimity curtains – they'll let in light and make the room cheery. And a flowery spread for the bed and…toys. She'll need toys!" Joe's mind ran at full speed and he crackled with energy.

"Yeah, Pa," Hoss said, just as excited about meeting his niece as Joe was. "We should buy some new toys for her, you know, and put up some shelves and line up the toys." Then Hoss' face became serious and he turned to Joe. "Other than dolls, what do little girls like in the way of toys?"

"Heck if I know," Joe said. "I guess we'll just have to buy every toy we see." Joe grinned. Any new enterprise and he was up for it.

"Now, hold on," Ben said, putting up his hands as if physically stopping his two sons and their exuberance. "First, I think the idea about the room is a good idea. It's a room close to Adam, not too hot in the summer but a tad cold in the winter due to that tree outside but it does need trimming. I think it's the best one. Joe, go ask Mrs. Shaughnessy to go with you to buy the goods needed to make it a little girl's room; having had six daughters, she should know. And Hoss, just go to the mercantile and ask Mrs. Roland what she has in the way of girl's toys, things for a girl about 4 or 5. Then use a little restraint and don't buy out the store."

"Pa, they got one of them hobby horses there, you know, on rockers for children to ride. Come all the way from England, Roland told me. I woulda loved to have had that thing when I was a kid."

"You would have cracked it at the first rock!" Joe answered, laughing.

"I'm gonna ignore that, shortshanks, 'cause I got better things to do. Remind me later to toss you out an upstairs window. Pa, that horse's painted up like a real horse and has leather trappin's and a saddle and such – and it's got a real horsehair mane and tail. How 'bout that, Pa? It's been sittin' there for nigh on to two years and ain't nobody bought it. Howsabout I buy that too?"

"Well, I….Adam'll think we're spoiling her, giving Kitty too much if we buy all that."

Joe looked at Hoss and winked, then faced his father with a serious expression. "Pa, you know how Adam is with a dollar but isn't that what uncles and grandfathers are supposed to do? Spoil grandchildren and nieces?"

Ben righted himself, a small smile touching his previously solemn mouth. "You know, you're right. Joe. Snap to it! And, Hoss, go into town and buy as many toys as'll fit in the back of the buckboard – hobby horse included!"

Hoss beamed. "Yes, sir!" He turned to get his hat and gun belt, but then turned back again and with a somber expression, said, "I think Hop Sing needs to start baking cookies now – lots of cookies. After all, can't 'spect my niece to sit all alone eatin' cookies and milk; only polite to keep 'er company."

Ben grinned, shook his head. "And maybe a few cakes and pies?"

"Smart thinkin', Pa. Can't ever have too many cakes and pies!"

Adam had been surprised when he and Mrs. Jepson took Kitty up to her new room; his father and brothers had decorated the room in ways he hadn't even considered and he noticed the beautiful hobby horse sitting in one corner. _"Pa, this is…" "This is what WE wanted to do – to welcome Kitty and show her that she has a room in her new home that we made just for her, that she's wanted."_ Joe and Hoss and Ben were excited to see what Kitty would do when she saw the beautiful new room done up with flowered wallpaper, the only room upstairs with wallpaper, and the deep rose-colored coverlet. Hoss had cut, tooled, and stained the wood to make five shelves, one under the other on the wall and filled them with toys of all types. _"Hoss, you need to put them lower on the wall." "Joe, shelves ain't s'pposed to be that near the ground." "Kitty's not a giraffe; she's a little girl. How's she supposed to reach her toys if you place them that high?" "Oh. I forgot." "Yeah. Not all children are as big as an adult when they're only 6 years old like someone I know was!"_

They were all disappointed when Kitty only hid her face in Mrs. Jepson's neck and refused to even look. But, Ben had assured his disappointed sons, give the child time. "I imagine this is overwhelming, all of us hovering around her." Hoss and Joe knew that their father was right but they had worked so hard and had been anticipating their niece's delight and now, nothing.

"Let me tell you, Pa," Adam said, relaxing in his favorite chair on the opposite side of the fireplace, "it's been a rough few days. I am glad to be home."

"Good thing you got home when you did. There was going to be a bench warrant drawn if you weren't back in time to testify."

Adam snorted in disgust. "It would have been worth it if only Ava had returned with us. I had such hopes…" He surprised himself; Adam actually felt himself starting to feel the sting of tears. He had been so busy dealing with his young daughter that he hadn't really had time to think much about Ava other than the few minutes the previous night before exhaustion overcame him and he fell into a deep sleep. He had been bothered by disturbing dreams that he couldn't remember upon waking, but that left him feeling oddly off balance. Just as Ava always had.

Adam noticed his father looking at him, his brow furrowed in concern. "I know, Pa. You think I should just cut her loose but I can't. Ava is my wife and Kitty is our child. Actually, having Kitty with me may one day bring us back together."

"Your business is your own, but I've never thought much of a woman who carries on with other men while she's married. And from what you've said – which isn't much - she's living openly with a man. Do you know who it is?"

"Jason Hanover. That's what Mrs. Jepson said. Jason D. Hanover. But Pa, I haven't been celibate either. I may not have shacked up with a woman but I've been with a few. Actually, more than a few."

"Hanover….Hanover…" Ben waved a finger in the air, suddenly remembering. "I've heard of him, heard his name tossed about in contract meetings, bidders saying that they have letters of security from him. He's supposed to be a big man in some circles, friendly with senators and I think he's even on congenial terms with President Grant. I think it's the same man."

Adam said nothing. _A wealthy influential man. I can't fault her for wanting to be with such a powerful man. But eventually, she'll age and end up used and worn out and Jason Hanover, will no longer want a woman whose beauty has been ruined and whose magical voice has broken-down. But I would take her back even then. Even then. After all, I'll be old and worn myself._

"Well," Adam said, wearily rising from his chair, "I'm going to turn in. G'night."

"Goodnight, son. Oh, I almost forgot. A man stopped by asking for you yesterday."

"For me? Who was it?"

"Nobody I know – Joe didn't know him either. I thought he might be one of the Feds but he was dressed like a common cowboy. I asked if he wanted me to let you know he'd been here asking for you, but he just said no. He did ask where you were and when you'd return. I didn't tell him. Claimed ignorance which wasn't too hard since I never really know anything about your affairs."

"Looking for me, huh?" Adam said. He couldn't help but wonder if it was about the mine, about the trial. "Well, if it was important, he'll be back." But the thought wasn't comforting.


	4. Chapter 4

**4….Trials and Tribulations**

Over the next two days, Kitty first warmed to Hoss, then Joe and then, her grandfather. She kept her distance from Adam.

Despite Hoss' size, he easily won Kitty over, acting silly when he asked her to sit down with him over some of Hop Sing's cookies. "They's magic cookies," he said whispering while Adam watched.

Kitty raised an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes that were as blue as Hoss'. "How?"

"Well, now it may just be 'cause Hop Sing makes 'em – he's all the way from China, you know, and China's on the other side of the world and they got all sorts of things magical over there." Kitty looked at Hop Sing who stood by the dining table after placing a plate of warm cookies and two glasses of milk down. "See that cap he done got on?" Kitty nodded. "Well, only Chinese men can wear that. But what makes them cookies magic is that no matter how sad a person is, eatin' them cookies makes a person happy."

"Really?"

"Sure, really. I bet that iffen you sit down with me and eat some of them cookies, well, you'll be happier. C'mon. Whaddaya say?" Kitty nodded, still not sure about "Uncle Hoss". Hoss swept her up – she grabbed at him in surprise - and deposited her on a chair. She tucked her legs underneath her and, once Hoss took a handful of cookies and placed them on his napkin, Kitty reached for one and began to eat.

Ben and Adam watched as Hoss made milk come from his nose and Kitty chortled with delight. Adam had to smile as Uncle Hoss clowned around, willing to do just about anything to make Kitty laugh. Even Mrs. Jepson, coming downstairs after putting away Kitty's clothes, remarked that it was good to see Kitty laughing again. And Kitty made attempts to make milk come from her nose as well.

Adam was a bit envious. He couldn't behave the way Hoss did – it wasn't in him. That childish delight in silly things had never been in him and Adam felt deficient in some way. But worse was that he was the parent. It was up to him to raise Kitty properly and he resisted the urge to tell Kitty that it was impolite to snort milk out one's nose.

Ben was thrilled that evening when Kitty cautiously let him pull her on his lap while he told her a story about a beautiful little princess who accidently dropped her golden ball down the well. A frog, who made her promise to let him sleep on her pillow at night, leapt into the well and fetched the valuable ball from its depths. "But when the frog jumped up on the princess' pillow, he was wet and ugly and she regretted her promise."

While his father told his little daughter, who sat bare-foot and in her nightgown on her grandfather's lap, Adam observed his daughter's rapt attention as he described how the princess' anger caused her to slam the frog against the wall which changed him into a handsome prince. Adam had to smile remembering Kitty and the new doll and how she had slammed it against the wall.

But if Adam had any doubts about his daughter's ability to remember things, he was put at ease; the next day, Kitty tossed her new red ball into the well outside the kitchen and then told her grandfather to get it. Ben was nonplussed and looked at Adam who had been sitting with his father on the porch, watching Kitty explore the front yard and becoming familiar with the chickens and the three geese who wandered the yard; she was afraid of them – their beaks - but was curious.

"No, Kitty," Adam said. "You threw your ball down the well and now it's gone. Grampa's not going to fetch it. It's lost now."

"No," Kitty said, her brow furrowing. "Get my ball out."

Adam stood up, towering over Kitty even more from the height of the porch. "No, Kitty. Your ball is gone. You shouldn't have thrown it in the well. And you don't tell an adult what to do. Understand?"

Kitty glared at him and Adam felt slightly intimidated. _God help any man in her life_ , Adam thought. Then Kitty turned on her heel and walked to the well.

"Adam," Ben said, "she's not going to try to get the ball out herself, is she?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." Adam stepped down from the porch, and followed his daughter who was trying to climb up the well by grabbing the river rocks and seeking a foothold. Adam quickly swooped down and snatched her up. "I told you, it's gone. You can't get it back."

"Yes, I can! I want my ball!" Kitty wriggled in his grasp.

"Then you shouldn't have thrown it away," Adam said, struggling with his daughter. He carried her back to the porch and when she saw her grandfather, she burst into tears and once Adam set her down, Kitty crawled into her grandfather's lap, buried her head against his chest, and wept. Ben held her closely and stroked her unkempt curls; Kitty hadn't allowed Mrs. Jepson to brush her hair that morning.

"It's all right, Kitty," Ben consoled. "I'll buy you another ball – bigger and better. Okay?"

Kitty raised her head. "Today?"

"Yes, my love - today. Now if you let Mrs. Jepson brush your hair, we'll go into town, you and I, and you can choose any new ball you want!"

"Okay!" Kitty said and kissed Ben on his cheek. Then, smiling, she looked at her father triumphantly. Ben put her down and Kitty went running into the house, her thick curls bobbing, calling for Mrs. Jepson.

"Pa… I can't believe you were bought for a mere kiss."

"What can I say, Adam? I'm in love."

Adam had to smile and shake his head. So far, Kitty seemed to mistrust him. And why shouldn't she? He had taken her from her mother and from everything she had known. It was he who insisted she take her bath, went to bed early, ate at least part of her dinner and didn't give in when she cried. Hoss and Joe fell apart when Kitty was upset, taking her side in every dispute and Mrs. Jepson also coddled Kitty although she tried to be strict. And in the face of all that, Adam knew he had to be the one constant, the person who ensured his daughter knew that she couldn't have anything and everything. It was hard for Adam since he wanted to give his daughter all the wonderful things in the world just because she was his daughter. Life was cruel, that he knew, and Kitty needed the tools and strength of character to endure. At least that's what Adam believed but every so often, he wondered if he was right.

~ 0 ~

Adam strapped on his gun belt for the drive into Virginia City and the courthouse. "Now, Pa, remember, no candy, cookies, or sweets. Make her eat her lunch and then lie down for a nap."

"Adam, I raised you three. I think I can handle one little girl." But Ben wasn't so sure. Kitty did have a way of looking at him and saying. "Grampa, please?" that melted him.

Adam shook his head. "And make sure Hop Sing doesn't slip her a sugar cookie either. Don't just look the other way as you've been doing."

Ben took the attitude of being insulted, as if Adam's comment was an affront but he knew he was guilty, actually condoned the deceptions.

Adam slipped on his suit jacket. He was taking Mrs. Jepson into town to catch the stage that still ran to the train depot in Elko. Then Mrs. Jepson would take the train north to Baltimore to live with her sister; her three days with Kitty were up. She sat outside in the early morning light, dabbing her eyes; she had already said her tearful goodbyes to Kitty who had thrown her small arms about Mrs. Jepson's neck and cried, begging the woman to take her too.

"Now, Kitty, you have a father who loves you very much. Don't you want to stay here and live with him and your grampa and uncles? Think of all the fun you'll have."

"No! I don't wanna have fun! I wanna go with you! Take me with you!" Kitty pulled on Mrs. Jepson as the woman gently disentangled herself from Kitty's arms.

Adam picked Kitty up who immediately began to struggle. "Let me go! I wanna go with her - not stay here! Let me go! I hate you!"

"Hoss, take her upstairs and keep her there."

"Adam, I ain't no good at this kinda thing. You know I don't like…"

"Hoss, just take her. I'm going to be late for court and Mrs. Jepson's going to miss her stage." Adam held out his squirming, protesting daughter and Hoss gingerly took her, while the child, realizing she had been foiled, began to cry with renewed vigor. Adam noticed that Hoss looked as if was going to cry as well. "Just take her, would you?"

Hoss, speaking in comforting tones, held Kitty as if she was an infant, cradling her in his huge arms, and carried her upstairs. Adam waited, barely breathing. Then the sound came from overhead, the muted "thunk, thunk", that indicated that Kitty was on the hobby horse. She had taken to it and the back-and-forth motion which, just like the rhythm of the train, seemed to soothe her. Many a time over the last three days, Kitty had learned to calm herself by the almost hypnotic rocking. Adam let out his breath.

"I don't know how long I'll have to be in court or if they let me go after I've testified. I wish I wasn't involved in this." Adam picked up his hat and using his suit sleeve, rubbed the brim to brush off any dust.

"I don't blame you. It's difficult to testify against a friend."

"Bill Turk and I were never friends. I don't know that he even has friends. Anyway, I just hope that I'm not recalled after today and can free my mind of all this and focus on Kitty."

"Like any woman, she just needs attention. Things'll be easier with time - you'll see."

"I hope so, Pa. I hope so."

Ben stood in the open doorway, watching Adam walk out to the buggy. Mrs. Jepson held her skirts aside to keep Adam from possible sitting on them and as the buggy turned to leave the property, Mrs. Jepson waved goodbye and Ben Cartwright smiled wanly and waved back. Once the buggy was out of sight, Ben's smile dropped and he stepped back into the house, closing the door. Then he crossed the sitting room and eagerly took the stairs. He was going to take Kitty for a ride on a real horse, his horse, place her in front of him as he used to do Little Joe and walk Buck, his horse, about the property. He would point out the different types of trees and maybe they would see some deer or a fox or even a runty coyote.

Kitty was young and Ben knew she probably wouldn't remember much from the trip that day, but the love of their land could be instilled early on. So far, Kitty was the only third generation heir and Ben wanted his granddaughter to feel as if the whole Ponderosa was a part of her like an arm or a leg – or her heart - and then she would treasure it and protect not just the land, not just the lakes, but the beasts in the field as well. Today she would see what would one day be hers and she would be the steward of all he and his sons had worked for, had struggled for and had secured with their sweat and blood and many, many tears.

~ 0 ~

"Now, make sure she says her prayers before she goes to sleep." Mrs. Jepson said as Adam handed up her two pieces of luggage to be secured on the top of the coach

"I will, Mrs. Jepson, I promise."

"I tried to get the child to add you in her prayers, but, well, she's so young and this is such a hard time for her, you know."

"I know, I want to thank you for all you've done, for helping with Kitty. She would have been too upset to…it made things easier."

"I love the child. Kitty is a little beauty and very smart. Smarter than most of us adults!"

Adam smiled; he had already seen proof of that. "Here, this is for you." Adam handed Mrs. Jepson a long brown, fat envelope. She took it and stared at it.

The previous night, Adam had sat at the desk with the strong box open. He pondered what amount he should give Mrs. Jepson. She had cared for Kitty as the three of them had traveled, soothed the distressed child and was the only true connection for Kitty, to Ava. How much was that worth? Adam picked up a stack of bills and counted out $500.00 dollars in small bills which would be easier to use while traveling. And it wasn't Ponderosa script. Now that there was a federal mint and a standard of currency throughout the country, Ponderosa script was basically obsolete. He slipped the money in the envelope and was going to seal it but instead, just tucked the flap inside.

"I can tell just by feel this is too much money," Mrs. Jepson said as held the brown envelope.

"Too much? It's not enough for loving Kitty. Now, up with you and have a safe trip to Baltimore." Adam helped the woman up and she took her seat within the coach while Adam held the door, about to close it so he could slap the side of the coach to indicate to the driver that all his passengers were in.

"Goodbye, Mr. Cartwright. Take care and…Miss Ava, she loves Kitty. She honestly does. Handing her over to you wasn't an easy decision. She cried over it. Don't think she's hard or selfish. She was considering letting you take Kitty even before this opportunity came – traveling around, a child has no roots and Miss Ava, she wants the best for Kitty, for her to have all the things she herself didn't as a girl."

Adam paused. "Thank you, Mrs. Jepson, for telling me. I'm sure Ava loves Kitty. I'm certainly going to try to be a good parent – I live with the best example of one."

Mrs. Jepson smiled and the sadness left her eyes. "You have a fine father, indeed!"

Adam closed the door and then slapped the stage and stepped back. The stage took off and Mrs. Jepson, one hand holding her hat, partially leaned out the stage window and waved goodbye. Adam waved back.

He pulled out his pocket watch. He was to be in court by 10:00 and it was almost that now. But at least the trial was taking place in Virginia City and not in Carson City where the federal court was. William Turk's lawyer, Rowe, had maneuvered to keep the murder trial in Virginia City where he felt that things may go better for his client. Besides, he had argued, a federally-appointed prosecutor was going to be prosecuting his client on federal charges, no matter where the trial was held.

The morning was cool. Adam pocketed his watch again and strode with long legs to the small courthouse, people standing outside who either hadn't been able to get inside or just wanted to catch any news as they went about their business; the courthouse had been filled the last two days, Adam had heard. He wasn't looking forward to testifying and had to push his way through the people who either recognized him or had heard who he was. "Excuse me," Adam muttered as he shouldered his way past them. The crowd parted and Adam stepped into the courthouse and slipped into his reserved witness seat, 2nd row from the front. The proceedings had begun at 9:00 that morning. The assistant prosecutor turned at the slight commotion of Adam's arrival. Then satisfied that his witness had safely arrived, he turned back to watch the head Federal prosecutor with his many charts on easels, using his pointer to explain William Turk's attempt to hide funds from his business partners by changing the money into British pounds which held more value in the world, being much more recognized that the U.S. dollar. Eventually, once the U.S. dollar, which now held only 60% of a sterling pound, rose as most financial advisers predicted it would, the valuta would then be much higher. Then William Turk would exchange the money back into U.S. dollars and make thousands more.

Adam glanced at the jury of twelve men who appeared to be following the charts and the information but Adam knew they had no idea. It was such a convoluted method of Turk cheating his two partners out of their fair share. Instead, William Turk had "…intentionally and with great cunning, kept a false set of books that showed little profit from the copper sales. And yet, the actual profit was three times more than what he had presented. This is a reproduction on a page from his actual books that show the numbers alongside the same page showing the same transaction in the false books. Notice the difference in tonnage." There was the tapping of the pointer on the board and the jury craned their heads to make sure they saw, but what they saw, they didn't really understand. But it didn't really matter, because the cheating of the business partners, Adam Cartwright and Ernst Mueller was just to show motive and the withholding of the amounts from the government was Federal business, that trial taking place elsewhere. William Turk was being tried for murder in Virginia City, for the cold-blooded killing of Ernst Mueller.

Murder, they all understood. After all, just about every man at one time or another considered it - even if just as an exercise of imagination. They may have plotted how they could rid themselves of a nagging wife or burdensome business partner or someone they blamed for all their misfortunes in life. And as odd as it was, it primed them to convict others who had been caught doing what they often secretly wished they could accomplish. More than likely, it was a way of clearing their own tainted consciences.

And Adam was there as a witness against Turk, as the man who discovered the lifeless body of Ernst Mueller who had headed out to William Turk's hotel room to confront him.

But the assistant prosecutor hadn't been the only one to make note of Adam's entrance; Bill Turk had turned as well. Adam and Bill looked at one another and then, with a slight smile, Bill Turk turned about to face the front again.

The chill that Adam felt was the same as when a snake rose and stared, poised to strike. And one didn't doubt it would; the only question was – when?


	5. Chapter 5

**I apologize for taking so long to write and post another chapter but I have been watching Wimbledon in the morning when I can and catching missed matches in the afternoon. Right now, Muguruza and Williams have just begun the women's final. Anyway, I hope I haven't put anyone off by the length of time. Thanks, to all who are reading this story.**

 **5….Lonesome Cowboy**

As he sat on the front dais next to the judge's bench, Adam saw Joe and Hoss come in. They stood leaning against the back wall with a few others who shuffled further down to give them space. Adam's first thought was that there was an issue with Kitty but since Joe only nodded his head in acknowledgement, Adam decided it was only their curiosity that brought them to the courthouse as it had all the others.

"So, you found the real books, correct, Mr. Cartwright?" William Turk's lawyer from Sacramento City, a well-known attorney by the name of Anthony Rowe, asked.

"Yes."

"What made you think you had been shown false books? After all, you and Mr. Turk were friends."

"Mr. Turk and I are acquaintances, not friends. And I became suspicious after seeing the tonnage reports from the mine, all the copper smelting ore and such little profit, at least little compared to what I knew copper was selling for. But I wasn't supposed to know about that or, apparently, the amount of gold that was being found alongside…"

Rowe interrupted Adam and appealed to the judge. He claimed that Adam's response was irrelevant and beyond the scope of the question.

"I agree. The jury will disregard the part of the answer regarding gold."

Adam sighed. He wondered if the prosecutors were going to ask him how he found out that Bill Turk had discovered a vein of gold that ran alongside the copper. Turk hadn't informed either him or Mueller about the strike, carting the metal elsewhere and hoarding it until he could find a way to cash in without the Federal government taking their share to build up the Treasury's gold and silver reserves. But that would more than likely come up in the Federal trial. Adam hated to think of how long this mess might drag out and wished he had never met Bill Turk or become involved in the Lonesome Cowboy Mine.

 _"_ _Call," Adam said. He had a flush but not a straight flush and of the last five games, had won two. But the stranger, at least a stranger to him, had won the past three. And when the man across from him smoking the expensive cigar laid out his hand, it contained four 8's. Adam just shook his head and chuckled._

 _"_ _I have to admit you're lucky at cards," Adam said as he swept in the rest of the deck and packed them into an orderly stack, "and it's not my night. That's enough for me." He slapped the deck on the table for anyone else to use, while the man who had said his name was Bill Turk, counted his winnings.; he had quite a pile of bills and coins._

 _"_ _How about I buy you a drink before you leave?" Turk asked._

 _"_ _Well, since you have most of my money, I'll accept."_

 _Turk raised his arm to get the bar maid's attention and then asked for two beers with whiskey chasers. Once the beers arrived with their accompanying shot glasses of golden liquid, the men raised their beer mugs to one another before they drank._

 _"_ _Do you consider yourself a gambler, Adam?" Turk placed his mug on the table top, scratched, water-stained, and bearing a few gouges of initials. Adam always found it odd how people thought that their initials carved in a tree trunk or table top gave them some sort of immortality._

 _"_ _No. I only gamble if I believe I have some control over the results. I don't care for a random throw of the dice."_

 _"_ _That's the way of the world, isn't it? Life is amere toss of the dice as to what happens next."_

 _"_ _Most of the time, Adam said. "And it pisses the hell out of me."_

 _Turk laughed. "How would you feel about gambling on a copper mine?"_

 _"_ _That depends. What copper mine and why would I be interested?"_

 _Turk explained that he had bought a copper mine in Lyon County, the Lonesome Cowboy mine. It hadn't been worked in over eight years but now copper was in demand for creating piping for indoor gas lines and as an amalgamate. Turk had managed to strike a deal with the daughter of the deceased owner, a very beneficial deal, but he needed an investor or two in order to restart the mining operation._

 _"_ _Come out tomorrow and look at it," Turk said. "If you think it's a good investment, I'll cut you in for a percentage, depending on the amount you invest."_

 _"_ _Sounds fair," Adam said. He knew what great demand there was for copper now and although he held a quarter ownership in the two silver mines on the Ponderosa, neither of them held copper although it wasn't unusual to find one while mining for the other. Not that silver wasn't in demand as well, but much of it was basically bought at a undervalued price by the government at little profit to the mine owner; it was seen as a patriotic duty and the country was struggling under the demand for a singular currency that held up world-wide and was guranteed by gold and silver reserves. The now-united country was struggling every day to simplify its many branches and offices; the Treasury had always been problematic._

 _"_ _You said it's in Lyon County?" Lyon county lay next to Carson City and at the southern border of Storey County that included part of the Ponderosa and Virginia City._

 _"_ _Yes. Why don't you ride out with me tomorrow and take a look? Ernst Mueller – you know him?"_

 _"_ _I know him. Don't tell me he's investing?"_

 _"_ _He's interested. I'm taking him out tomorrow to look at it and you're welcome to join us. I'm meeting him outside his store at 9:00."_

 _"_ _All right. I'll join you two. But I find it hard to believe that Ernst is going to put up any money. His father and he worked hard to build up their feed and grain store; I can't believe he'd risk any of it. He's not easy to convince to part with even a penny."_

 _"_ _It's not a risk, Adam. Even mule-headed Mueller can see that." And Turk smiled and took a long swallow of his beer, sighed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He reached for his glass of whiskey and downed it._

 _Adam stood up, pushing back his chair. "I think I need to keep a clear head," Adam said. He took another sip of his beer and then placed the mug down, still half-full. Thanks for the drink but you can have my whiskey. I need to get a few hours sleep before morning."_

 _"_ _Okay, See you then." Turk reached for the whiskey and Adam left the Bucket of Blood._

 _Once on the sidewalk, Adam pulled out his pocket watch and in the light from inside the saloon, saw that it was almost half past 11:00. He should have been home, long asleep by now, so instead of riding back to the Ponderosa, Adam decided to spend the night in town and headed over to the Palace Hotel. He wondered about the possible investment and also wondered how Ernst Mueller had been convinced to invest, how the subject had even been raised. After all, Ernst and his father, Jacob, lived stringently in the back of their mercantile. Father and son had built up their business by being honest and hard-working and extending credit during hard times. Some people still owed the Muellers money from the drought a few years ago when crops failed and people had used the oats usually reserved for horses, to make a palatable gruel. Few people had washed during that time; water was too precious to use just to wash the dust off and clothes were worn many times over before they were cleaned. It had been a desperate time for all._

 _But no matter how filthy a homesteader or how much he stank from weeks of being unwashed, neither Mueller ever averted their head or gave the slightest hint that their noses were offended. Both men had come to be well-respected and vital members of Virginia City. But neither Ernst Mueller or his father drank or gambled. It wasn't that they felt it was sinful. At Christmas, the elder Mueller brought a lidded bucket to the saloon and had it filled and he and his son drank it at their table along with the roast pork and boiled potatoes and cabbage – a widower and his unwedded son eating in silence._

 _As Adam lay on his hotel room bed waiting for sleep to take him, he concluded that Bill Turk must have struck up a conversation with Ernst inside the store as he bought some item or another. There were rumors that the Muellers were very wealthy. After all, the people joked, they never spent any of their money, wearing the same clean, neat clothes every day, never gambled, never even laughed for that matter, and certainly never bought a whore. They must have money - enough to buy and sell Virginia City twice._

 _Adam considered how odd a pair as partners in a mine he and Ernst were. Had the poker game with Turk been simply a matter of circumstances or had Turk sought him out? Adam wondered but it wasn't important if the investment was a good one. Adam rolled over on his side and was soon asleep._

 _~ 0 ~_

 _"_ _So, do you think we made a good decision, Adam?" Ernst Mueller asked._

 _"_ _I think it's a worthy investment – I don't know how we can lose but I'm going to talk to Reese. Men are men and all have weaknesses; I'd hate to think Reese could be bribed as far as an assay report. But if that ore from the Lonesome Mine is really smelter ore, well, it's more than just a good investment. I just want to make sure the assay report is correct. And Turk agreed to 25% for each of us, 50% for him, dividing his shares with any other investor he may take on."_

 _The two men rode back to town. Turk had stayed behind. He claimed he had paperwork to do. There was a small building serving as the office with narrow windows, a few yards from the mine and Adam had noted that the door was heavily bolted and locked with new hardware. Obviously, Turk feared a break-in. A mining shack that would hold dynamite and other necessary evils of the business stood about fifty yards away in case a clumsy or negligent worker set off an explosion while getting supplies._

 _"_ _You're a good judge on character, Adam. What do you think of Bill Turk? Do you think we can trust him?"_

 _Adam softly laughed. "I used to think I was a good judge of character but I'm not so sure anymore. And as for Turk, well, let's just say that I don't think he has our best interests at heart – just his own. I'm going to monitor my investment. I suggest you do the same. As partners, we should have easy access to the tonnage reports and I can check in the_ Territorial Enterprise _for market copper prices._

 _"_ _I've never done anything like this before, Adam. If I'm wasting my money and my father finds out, well, he's straight from the old country and to him, every dollar is to be saved, not risked in any manner."_

 _"_ _Well, maybe you shouldn't invest."_

 _"_ _What about you, Adam? What if the investment fails, the mine peters out? Will your father be angry?"_

 _"_ _I don't know about angry as it's my money I'm investing. If I lose it then I'm the poorer."_

 _"_ _That's the way it should be. I've worked hard earning money, quite a bit and I've heard about men becoming sinfully wealthy now that the war is over, providing goods. Your family is selling lumber for reconstruction of the southern states, correct?"_

 _"_ _Yes." Adam didn't want to talk about that, how he had been with Sherman during the war and destroyed everything – literally everything - and left a wasteland as if Satan himself had sent hellfire and watched with delight to see the world burn. Destruction sat ill with Adam and his soul suffered each time they had set fire to a barn or crops and left old men, women, children, both black and white, homeless and starving in the, smoking, haunting landscape. And sometimes, the acrid odor came back to him as if it resided somewhere inside him and took ahold during vulnerable times._

 _"_ _My father needs to recognize that I am a man who wants a wife someday, who wants to live in a house instead of living in the back of that store. Like you, it's my money that I'll invest. I'll keep it my secret until I can show the profits to my father. Then he will understand what a man can accomplish today by making his money do the work instead of a man working so hard for his money."_

 _Time passed and both Adam and Mueller received dividends but to Adam, they didn't seem quite enough. In the past three months, Adam had ridden out to the mine twice and asked to see the tonnage reports. The mine was bustling and he knew that the ore was being shipped to the smelter in Carson City. He asked to see the reports. But both times, Turk was too busy to find them, he said, and promised that he would bring them out to the Ponderosa himself. He promised. But wasn't Adam pleased with the dividend checks?_

 _Adam had just smiled and said that he liked to have more of a hand in his investments, especially with a mine that was so close by. And hadn't Turk read in the papers about the greater demand for copper that was driving up the price? Why even English manufacturers were purchasing Nevada copper._

 _It seemed, Turk had quickly explained, that they were now running into 'milling ore'. Adam knew the added expense of having to crush the ore before shipping it to the smelter, the manpower needed since a machine to crush the rocks hadn't yet been purchased – he would have had to sign off on that purchase as well as Mueller. According to Turk, that was why profits were down._

 _So, Adam had ridden away but noticed one of the miners, a man in his early 40's who had overheard the conversation, intently watching him. And early that evening, the same man turned up at the Ponderosa and asked to see him._


	6. Chapter 6

**_6….Truth Will Out_**

 _"_ _You asked to see me?" Adam stepped out on the front porch; the man had declined coming in._

 _"_ _Yeah. I ain't got much time. I'm headin' out for Missouri but wanted to tell you somethin' first."_

 _The man was nervous. He kept looking around. "Can we step outta this light?" As usual, Hop Sing had lit the porch light and it cast a glow over the two men._

 _"_ _All right," Adam said. They stepped off the porch and the two moved over to the side of the house. Adam also looked around. The man was so jumpy that it transferred to him. And perhaps he had a cohort in the shadows waiting to do only God knew what._

 _"_ _That Mr. Turk, he's been cheatin' you. He don't want you to see those books and reports 'cause, well, I'm part guessin' here – but I was there when him and another man by the name of_ _Ralston, was talkin'. They was sayin' somethin' about the gold they's pullin' from the mine not being recorded. I've been a miner only a few years but I know that sometimes when you hit copper, there's gold and silver ore. You should know that too. This is a rich vein; we've been findin' enough gold to make a man rich a hunnerd times over." The man looked about nervously. "Wanted to tell you afore I left. I don't wanna be caught up in nothin' dishonest. Already had trouble with the law once in my life, did five years, so I wanna put distance between me and that mine. What you do with the information is your business." The man turned to leave._

 _"_ _One thing," Adam said, calling out. The man turned. "Who worked for whom? Turk for Ralston or the other way?"_

 _"_ _The other way," the man said as he mounted his horse. "Turk, he was in charge. Leastways, it seemed so."_

 _"_ _Here," Adam said, pulling money from his pocket. "Take this."_

 _"_ _I didn't tell you this for money."_

 _"_ _That's why I want you to have it." Adam handed up the bills and the man, nodding, took the bills and shoved them in his shirt pocket. Then he rode out of the yard._

 _~ 0 ~_

 _"_ _Who is there?"_

 _Adam recognized Jacob Mueller's deep voice with its thick accent._

 _"_ _Adam Cartwright. I came to see Ernst."_

 _Adam heard Ernst's voice from inside. "It's okay, Vater. I have business with Adam. Put away the gun."_

 _"_ _Business this late at night? It's almost 9:00. It is too late for business – we have locked up the store and the silo."_

 _"_ _It's not that late – only for old men."_

 _Adam smiled to himself imagining the disapproving look on the older Mueller's face._

 _The door opened and Ernst nodded at Adam. "Come in, Adam. Come in and sit."_

 _Adam stepped inside the small kitchen and Ernst closed the door behind him. Jacob Mueller was in his robe, standing in the short hall that led to the sitting room, his shotgun at his side, his brow furrowed. Adam felt claustrophobic with the low ceilings and narrow rooms._

 _"_ _Good evening, Mr. Mueller." Adam pulled off his hat. Mr. Mueller nodded and then, casting a suspicious eye at his son and Adam, he left. Adam could hear the man's footsteps as he went up the stairwell to the bedrooms._

 _Once his father was gone, Ernst dropped the pleasant expression and worry replaced it. "What is it, Adam?"_

 _"_ _A miner came by the Ponderosa earlier this evening and told me gold's been found and they've been bringing out the ore for days now. Turk's not recording it, at least not for anyone else to see. Tomorrow, I'm going to see Hiram Wood about asking Judge Hanley for a warrant to see the books and the files in the office. There has to be proof of gold there in some way or the other, an assayer's report or something. I'd like you to meet me at Hiram's at 8:00; we'll go from there. This sounds like it's going to be a federal matter as well as possibly, a lawsuit against Turk brought by us, but we need to talk to Hiram first."_

 _"_ _Turk is cheating me He's taken my money and he's cheating me." Ernst stared past Adam into the darkness of the room lit only by one lamp. "I will stop him!" Ernst stalked to the rack on the kitchen wall and pulled off his hat and jacket. "I shall go see him. I will tell him what I am going to do." Ernst placed his hat on his head and slipped on his jacket, pushing past Adam. "No man is going to take my money, to cheat me."_

 _Adam grabbed Ernst's arm but the man shook him off; he was a powerful man and not one to be taken lightly. He followed Ernst outside. "Don't go see Turk. We have no proof yet, only suspicions. Let me buy you a beer. We can talk about our possible lawsuit; we can sue."_

 _"_ _No, Adam. This is not for the law; it moves too slow. I can't lose that money. My father doesn't know about it, about what I invested. To him, to me, our money is as valuable as our blood. Turk is bleeding me and I won't allow it." Ernst was determined. He headed toward the hotel._

 _"_ _Ernst, don't be foolish." But Ernst either didn't hear Adam or ignored him. Adam shook his head. Well, even if Ernst didn't want a beer, he did._

 _Adam walked down the street to the saloon, ordered a beer and sat at a corner table while the piano played a quiet tune. One bar maid leaned on the upright piano, listening. It was a quiet night and at one table, four men were playing cards and two men stood at the bar. Adam sipped his beer but a sense of unease came over him. He shouldn't have let Ernst go alone to see Turk. Ernst was a hothead. Adam pushed back his chair and left the saloon to stand in the street. He looked at the Palace Hotel – Turk was on the second floor. Adam hurried to the hotel, his heart beating wildly. Something bad was going to happen. And when he heard the shot, Adam broke into a run. By the time he reached the second floor of the hotel, people from the neighboring rooms stood at the door of Turk's room, craning their necks to see. Ernst Mueller lying dead on the floor and Bill Turk holding a gun, saying it was self-defense to the confounded desk clerk._

Adam finished testifying but before he was dismissed, the head prosecutor chose to redirect; Rowe had raised a few other possibilities in Mueller's death to suggest it hadn't been murder, and had employed such circuitous logic that the jury had to be confused.

"So, let's understand," Teller said, "when you entered Turk's hotel room, approximately how much time passed from when you heard the gunshot?"

"I object," Rowe said, standing up. "There's no proof that Mr. Cartwright heard THE gunshot, the one that killed Mr. Mueller."

Judge Hanley sighed. "I think we can agree, Mr. Rowe, that since there was only one shot heard by everyone– not just by Mr. Cartwright, but by the desk clerk and others in the hotel, that it was THE gunshot. Please sit down. You may answer Mr. Cartwright."

"Maybe half a minute to a minute."

"And what did you see?"

"As I testified earlier, Ernst Mueller was on the floor, crumpled, and Mr. Turk was standing, holding his gun. Smoke was still coming from the barrel."

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright."

The judge told Adam he was dismissed and as he stepped down, Adam noticed an unfamiliar cowboy in the gallery. He looked to the well-dressed man sitting beside him. They were one row behind Turk and Adam had noticed that while he had testified, Turk had turned twice to look at the well-dressed man. The man in the suit nodded once to the cowboy as if he had asked a question. Then the cowboy rose and pushing his way past the knees of the other seated people, reached the aisle. Joe watched the man as well and poked Hoss with his elbow, whispering something. Then both his brothers watched the man exit the court house.

Adam retook his seat in the gallery and listened to more testimony but he wondered about the well-dressed man. Was he possibly Ralston, the man in cahoots with Turk?

"Mr. Ernst Mueller had no gun, did he?" Sheriff Coffee was on the witness stand being questioned by Turk's defense lawyer, Rowe.

"Not that I found."

But Ernst Mueller was a strong man – what was it he participated in? A wrestling competition, is it?"

"Oh, that." Sheriff Coffee smiled. "Every 4th of July we have a wrestling competition – just a friendly one - and Ernst has won the cherry pie the last few years. Course that's 'cause Hoss Cartwright hasn't participated lately." A low laugh ran through the courthouse.

"The cherry pie?" Rowe looked confused.

"That's right. Every year Mrs. Cunningham bakes one of her famous cherry pies as the prize. If I were younger, why I'd wrestle to win one of them myself."

The defense attorney was about to object when a man in the gallery called out, "All you hafta do is just smile at Esmeralda Cunningham, Roy, and she'll bake you as many pies as you could want!" The whole courtroom broke into laughs as it was well-known that Esmeralda Cunningham was on the lookout for her next husband and Roy Coffee as an excellent candidate.

Rowe went on in an attempt to show that Ernst Mueller was strong and not only was he strong, but he had a reputation as a belligerent man who was easily enraged. And once Rowe pulled from Sheriff Coffee the number of fights he had broken up between Ernst Mueller and other men over some imagined slight or insult, Rowe had forced Roy to admit that it was a possibility that Turk could have believed that Ernst Mueller's threats "to break his neck" as Turk had said in his initial statement, was plausible. Rowe then concluded, "Therefore, Turk shot Mueller in self-defense. Would you agree?"

Roy shifted in the seat. "I don't see how shooting an unarmed man down like a dog is self-defense."

"Of course, you wouldn't," Rowe said. "You people in Virginia City stick together, don't you? I'd hate to think you'd lie as a representative of the law, but…"

Teller practically jumped from his seat. "I object! Mr. Rowe is inserting his own opinion…"

Rowe put up his hands. "I'm through with this witness." And he walked back to his seat.

~ 0 ~

"That was the man who came to see you the other night while you were in San Francisco," Little Joe said as he raised his beer mug. Hoss and Joe had told Adam they'd buy him a beer. The court was dismissed for the lunch hour and Hoss, who had brought the bowl of hard-boiled eggs and a salt cellar from the bar to their table, kept cracking and peeling and salting them and popping them in his mouth. Joe had already cautioned Hoss about ruining his appetite – Hop Sing would have lunch ready and kept hot – but Hoss told him not to worry. The eggs were just, "What's that word, Adam, that French one about what you eat afore your meal that gets your appetite going?"

"As if you need any help with that," Joe said, wiping beer foam off his mouth.

"Hors d'oeuvres."

"Yeah, that's what these here eggs are – hors d'oeuvres."

"You sure he was the man?" Adam asked.

"Absolutely. I think he's got something to do with Turk and this whole business."

"I do too, "Adam added. "Since I have to stay here in case I'm recalled, I'm keeping an eye out for him. And the man he was sitting next to. Have either of you seen him before?"

"Didn't even notice 'im," Hoss said as he cracked another egg. A pile of brown eggshells mixed with white eggshells sat on the table next to the almost empty bowl.

"I didn't notice him either," Joe said. "Anyway, Pa wants us back. He's decided the barn needs painting and instead of pulling a ranch hand to do it, he's decided that me and Rembrandt here should be the ones to do it."

Joe rose and Hoss, popping one last egg into his mouth, left Adam alone with his thoughts and the eggshells.


	7. Chapter 7

**7….Hide and Seek**

Adam rode into the yard only to see Hoss looking under a bucket he had lifted over his head. Then, after obviously finding nothing, he rubbed his chin in exaggerated puzzlement and said "Not there neither." Then, seeing Adam, he said, "Hey, Adam. Trial over?"

"No. I have to return tomorrow in case I'm needed." Adam dismounted. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm playin' hide 'n seek and lookin' for Kitty. She's the best hider I've ever known." Giggles came from the porch and Adam glanced and saw Kitty sitting under the table.

Adam grinned and then turned back to Hoss. "You? Hide? Even the barn's not wide enough for you to hide behind."

"Well, that may be true, and it may be that Kitty's such a 'little-bit' that she can hide most anywhere, but I looked under this here bucket and behind that bush over there, stood back and looked in the trees, and I can't find her anywhere. Why I may hafta miss dinner lookin' for her and it's getting' dark and I'm gettin' hungry."

"Here I am!" Kitty crawled out from under the table and stood on the porch, triumphant. "You couldn't find me!"

Adam's heart swelled and he felt sudden emotion strangle him. The sight of his daughter moved him; she was so beautiful, so alive and a part of his soul – and so much like Ava. "You are a good hider," he said. But Kitty didn't respond to his comment. "Hoss, would you put my horse away? I've had a day."

"Sure, Adam," Hoss took the horse's reins and walked it to the barn.

"Unca Hoss," Kitty called. "It's your turn to hide!"

"Game's over, Kitty. Time for dinner. We been waitin' on your pa."

"One more game! Please?"

"C'mon, Kitty," Adam said, putting out his arms as he approached the porch. "It's time for dinner. Let's go wash hands." He walked up to her but Kitty took off running to the front door. She tiptoed to reach the door latch but couldn't quite get it, her fingertips grazing the metal. Adam walked up behind her and wrapped an arm about her waist, lifting her up.

"I want down." Kitty struggled slightly but Adam reached and opened the door but before he sat her down inside, he couldn't help himself – he kissed her hair, enjoying the slight odor of a child's perspiration mixed with the soap used to shampoo her hair. She moved her head away and Adam put her down on the Indian rug.

Ben stood up from his chair where he had been sitting, smoking his pipe and waiting anxiously for his eldest to return from town. Hoss and Joe had told him about the trial when they had arrived late for lunch, what Adam had sworn to in his testimony and that the same man who had asked for Adam a few nights ago had also been at the trial, and walked out after Adam's testimony. Ben didn't like it, hadn't liked anything about the trial, about the stranger, about the federal aspect of it or Adam's involvement.

"Glad you're home. Is the trial over?" Kitty ran to her grandfather and climbed up on his lap. Ben helped her up, lifting her partway. He toyed with her hair she sat quietly, leaning back against him, enjoying his attentions.

A twinge of jealousy bothered Adam; he liked to think he was above such petty feelings but had found himself beset by envy and jealousy more and more; he tried to suppress it. "Probably, but I have to be there tomorrow. Imagine it'll go to the jury then. Smells like fried chicken." Adam sat down after divesting himself of his jacket, gun belt and hat. "It's been a long day. Nothing wears me out more than just sitting."

"What do you think the verdict will be?" Ben asked.

"I think it'll be guilty."

"Seems that's the right decision unless something else came up in the trial."

"Not that I heard. I'd say it's a fait accompli. You know how people feel about outsiders coming in, making money and then waltzing out, especially if they cheat and kill…" Adam stopped; Kitty was listening to him and he remembered the princess and the frog and the well; Kitty seemed to remember everything. "And kill time." Adam raised his brows at his father who realized the reason for Adam's self-censoring.

"As soon as Hoss comes in, we'll eat." Ben leaned to see Kitty better. "Sweetheart, would you go wake up Uncle Joe? Just knock on his door and tell him dinner's ready, would you?"

"Okay, Grampa!"

Ben lifted Kitty down and holding onto the uprights of the bannister, she climbed the stairs. Ben and Adam waited until she had reached the top landing and they heard her shoes on the floorboards as she ran to Joe's room.

"Joe asleep?"

"Said he hadn't slept well last night. He told me about the man who was at the trial – the same one who asked for you. Did he say anything to you today?"

"No, not a word. Anyway, I'm going to wash up. Then I'll tackle Kitty and try and get her to wash her face and hands."

"Don't worry about it, Adam. I'll handle it; you've had enough for today."

Adam stood and looked up as Kitty appeared at the top of the stairs and carefully looking down, she negotiated each stair; no one had taken children into acount when the stairs were built and the rise of each wasn't easy for Kitty's short legs to handle. "No, Pa. I need to start asserting some authority around here." He looked at his father and pointed a finger. "And you and Hoss and Joe need to stop spoiling her so much!"

Ben looked sheepish. "I know, Adam, but, well, I want to give her everything she wants – anything that might bring her happiness."

And Adam sighed. He wanted to be the one to give his daughter everything – maybe then she would love him the way she seemed to love the rest of his family. How wonderful it would be to play games with her and swing her about as Joe did, holding onto her hands and swinging her in a low circle while she laughed with delight. But someone had to be her father and it was he.

"I'll take her to wash up." Adam noticed that her white stockings were spotted with mud.. Her small black shoes were scuffed, and one strap of the pinafore over her blue-flowered dress was hanging off one shoulder. "And brush her hair. She runs around here like some wild child. I swear, Pa."

"Maybe we should buy her some dungarees and boots. Save the dresses for church."

"I don't know, Pa, I don't know." And Adam, squaring his shoulders, went to confront Kitty about washing up.

~ 0 ~

Adam felt worn to the bone. Kitty had protested she wanted Mrs. Jepson to take care of her and put her to bed.

"I told you, Mrs. Jepson's gone to live with her sister."

"Why?"

"Because her sister was lonely."

"What's that mean?"

"It means that her sister missed her, wanted to see her again. So, Mrs. Jepson, who wanted to see her sister just as much as her sister wanted to see her, went to live with her in a city far away. Now, Kitty, don't fight with me anymore. Let's just finish."

Earlier he had struggled with her to wash her teeth. _"I don't want to." "But if you don't, you'll get holes in your teeth." "Why?" "Because that's what happens. If you get holes in your teeth, they get bigger and bigger, and then your teeth fall out and all you can eat is soup – you can't chew with no teeth."_ Adam wondered if he should feel guilty about exaggerating. Usually, he espoused telling the truth at all times to children but he was starting to see the benefits of little lies.

He took the hairbrush out and Kitty immediately folded her arms over her head and hunched her shoulders.

"Kitty, I have to brush your hair before you go to bed."

"No! It hurts!"

"Kitty, it doesn't hurt. I'll be very gentle, I promise."

"No!"

Adam sighed. He'd wait until the morning to fight over her hair. He'd have to brush it then anyway. Besides, unfamiliar territory came next.

As for using the chamber pot, Mrs. Jepson had always handled it. Adam wondered who had taken care of the matter during the day, but now it was up to him. He pulled the chamber pot out from under the bed and sat it on the rug. The china bowl was brightly painted around with daisies.

Initially, they first day Kitty had arrived, he and Mrs. Jepson had walked Kitty to the outhouse; it was daylight. _"She's only used to inside commodes, Mr. Cartwright, always running out and covering her ears when the chain's pulled because of the noise."_ He watched while Mrs. Jepson helped Kitty with her pantalettes and then held up the child in order to sit her on the privy, but Kitty, looking behind her at the hole, kicked her legs and grabbed desperately onto the woman _. "No, no!" "Kitty, what's wrong, child? Just sit on the hole and do your business!" "NO! It's big! I'll fall in!" "No, you won't child, I'll hold you." "NO! NO! NO!"_ The outhouse had not been a success and Mrs. Jepson hadn't tried again.

"C'mon, Kitty," Adam said. "Time for the pot." He kneeled beside it and held up Kitty's nightgown while she sat on the chamber pot. He couldn't help but smile; she was so small that she had to grip the sides to keep from falling into it. He had seen in catalogues pictures of children's toilets, removeable chamber pots placed into wooden chairs. He'd sketch one and ask Joe to build it for Kitty.

Eventually Kitty finished and stood up. A small trickle ran down her leg. Adam pulled out his handkerchief and wiped her leg and then handed her the square of linen. "Here, Kitty, wipe yourself." She looked at it and raised it, about to wipe her face when Adam stayed her hand. "No, no, no. Wipe your bottom. Wipe yourself dry." He lifted her nightgown again and averted his head while Kitty used the handkerchief but Adam realized she wasn't good at it. But for now, it would do. Adam decided he would take Kitty to visit Mrs. Shaughnessy. She would fill Kitty up on lemonade and sugar cookies. Then Mrs. Shaughnessy could teach her what a girl needs to know.

"Time for bed," Adam said.

"I want Grampa to put me to bed."

"I'm putting you to bed."

"NO!"

Adam stopped and waited until his limited patience returned. He was tired and Kitty was making it worse. He bent down and picked up Kitty, depositing her on the bed. And then he saw that her feet were dirty, particularly between her toes; the dirt from outside apparently came into the shoes. He should have known since her stocking had been filthy, and considered his next act.

"We need to wash your feet."

Kitty sat up and watched while Adam went to the washstand and rewet the washcloth.

"I don't want my feet washed." Kitty shoved her feet under the covers that had been folded down.

"You have to wash your feet or they'll smell like stinky cheese." Kitty giggled and Adam suddenly had hope. Maybe, just maybe, his daughter would take to him after all.

Kitty slipped her feet out and falling back onto the bed, raised one leg. "Smell my foot," she said, giggling.

Adam grabbed one, sniffed and then made a face of exaggerated disgust and said, "Peeyew!" Kitty giggled again and Adam wiped her foot with the washcloth and then sniffed it again. "Smells much better. Smells like perfume now." Kitty laughed and stuck up her other foot. Adam again went through the same actions only this time, before releasing her foot, Adam kissed her toes.

Kitty giggled again. "That tickles."

"Now get under the covers and let's say your prayers." Adam sat on the side of the bed.

"I already did." Kitty snuggled under the covers.

"I didn't hear you say them."

"I said 'em when you weren't listening."

"Did you now?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay. Adam tucked the covers up higher and bent over to kiss her but Kitty held her hands over her face.

"Good night. I'm down the hall if you need me." Adam stood up and started to put out the lamp when Kitty sat up.

"I don't want it dark!"

"It won't be. I'll leave the door half-open. There's a lamp on in the hall. It won't be dark. Now go to sleep."

"I can't."

"Oh?" He walked back over to the bed and sat back down. "Why not?"

Kitty paused, her brows drawn. "I'm scared."

"Scared, huh? Of what?" Adam was ready to take her fears seriously as he knew what it was like to be a frightened child. He reached out and pushed back a lock of her soft hair.

Kitty waited and then answered. "Of ephants."

Adam pursed his lips to keep from smiling. "Elephants, huh? There are no elephants on the Ponderosa."

"Uh, huh! I seen one!"

 _Oh, God. She's beginning to talk like Hoss!_ "You **saw** one."

"Yeah, I did. And a tiger – a big one!."

"Well, I'll make sure no elephants or tigers get you. And elephants only eat hay and plants – not little girls. Especially those with stinky feet." Kitty giggled as Adam smiled. In a serious tone, he added, "I'm your father and I won't let anything bad happen to you even if I have to sit in the hallway all night and keep watch. Now…" Adam stood up and was ready to tuck her in when Kitty looked wide-eyed at him.

"I can't sleep 'cause….I'm lonely."

 _Damn her memory!_ "Oh? Lonely?"

Kitty's eyes welled-up with tears. "I'm lonely for Momma. And Mrs. Jepson. I wanna go live with them. I want my Mommy."

Adam knew not to make light of this. He dropped his voice and sat back down. "I'm lonely for your mommy too. But she's very busy right now and going on a long trip. She thought it would make you happy to come stay with me for a while. I know that it makes me happy as…" Adam found he was becoming emotional. "I was lonely for you."

Kitty looked up at him and then burst into tears. Adam was taken aback. He lifted her up and held her against him while she sobbed as if her heart was broken. "It's all right, Kitty. It'll be all right. I promise you that." He slowly rocked back and forth and her sobbing subsided to sniffles. Adam kissed her head and lay her back down, and wiped her tears away with his thumbs as he caressed her face. He reached down and tucked the covers up again.

"Kitty, since you're lonely, maybe I should stay with you for a little and keep you company until you go to sleep? Would you like that?"

Kitty nodded and then she scooted over and patted the bed beside her. "You can be here."

"Okay", Adam said. He lay down on the bed and crossed his legs at the ankles, his hands resting on his abdomen. "Good night, Kitty. Sleep tight."

"G'night," Kitty whispered as she snuggled down further in the covers.

Adam's heart soared. His daughter had turned to him for comfort and suddenly the world didn't seem so bad anymore. Other matters may occur in day-to-day life, people may cheat and kill and suffer but here and now, all was calm and he was happy. Adam sighed deeply and closed his eyes, content with his state. And soon father and daughter were both asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**8….The Tree with Many Branches**

It had hardly been worth coming to town, Adam thought as he walked to the mercantile. He decided that he would buy some dungarees and a few shirts for Kitty. She could wear boy's clothes, at least for a while. When she started school in a few years, then he'd buy her more dresses and shoes, fancy ribbons for her hair and bonnets. But the boots. Adam realized he'd have to bring her in to fit her for the boots. But he could buy socks and a little felt hat for her. Tomorrow he'd bring her in. Then she could trade out the black patent leather shoes for boots.

Combined closing arguments in Turk's trial took less than an hour. The case was then sent to the jury. Turk was led out in handcuffs: Roy Coffee took no chances. But Adam had lingered, speaking to Jacob Mueller. Mueller said he was giving up his granary and feed store. "I am moving to be with my brother and his family. When my property sells, then I will go. We helped each other as children. Now we help each other as men – old men."

Adam said he understood the bond between brothers and again gave his condolences. He inquired about possible buyers, if Mueller had as of yet been approached. It was a profitable business, Adam was saying when word came that the jury was filing back in. It had been less than fifteen minutes.

Turk was brought back in. Guilty. Judge Hanley immediately sentenced Turk to be hanged until dead at a later determined time. Turk protested, even over Judge Hanley's pounding on the block. He stood up and headed for the bar until his lawyer and Roy Coffee held him back. Turk claimed the jury was biased and that Adam Cartwright hadn't seen the whole thing "That big German threatened me! He said he'd break my neck and came at me! I had no choice but to defend myself! I had to shoot him!"

Judge Hanley pounded vigorously, but Bill Turk continued, shouting that Adam Cartwright had lied, had lied to get all the profits for himself! The judge, over the commotion, shouted at Roy to take out the prisoner and so Roy and his deputy practically dragged Bill Turk out of the courthouse. Townspeople stood on the street as Turk was forcibly walked across the street to the jail, vociferously claiming his innocence. Adam stepped out into the sun to see Turk finally pulled inside the jailhouse.

Adam wanted to forget the trial and Ernst's death; he felt that now he had some sunshine in his life — his daughter and he wanted to focus on that. He had his own and her future to consider, and hopefully, Ava would play a great part in their lives in the years ahead. He held that hope in his heart, that Ava would realize what she had thrown away with both hands and want them back, both father and daughter. They would be happy together.

~ 0 ~

"I think that's about the right size," Mrs. Rowland said. "May have to roll up the cuffs a bit." She held up a pair of boy's dungarees. Had they been in the city, Adam knew he would be looking at short pants buckled below the knee and worn with stockings.

He took the dungarees from Mrs. Rowland and examined them; they seemed well-made. "How many pairs do you think? Three? Four?"

"Well, if she's like other children…"

"No, no," Adam said. "Kitty's not like any other child. She's prettier and smarter than any other. I thought everyone knew that!" Adam grinned.

Mrs. Ralston laughed. She always enjoyed it when any of the Cartwrights came in but especially Adam; his deep voice and good looks thrilled her. "Yes, I'm sure she is exceptional, Adam, but I'm also sure she'll grow as quickly as any other child. And now we need to find her some shirts and…have you considered…undergarments?"

"Oh, no. I hadn't…"

"I'll take care of that – don't worry. And I'm glad you're going to bring her in for the boots. They can be troublesome to fit."

Mrs. Ralston moved out from behind the counter and they walked over to a shelf that held boy's shirts and hats and sundry items. Adam was checking through them for nice plaids when he heard his name called. He turned and it was Deputy Clem Foster.

"Adam, Bill Turk is asking to see you. The federal agents'll be here in about an hour. You don't have to see 'im. It's up to you."

Adam's mind raced back to the courtroom. Turk hadn't looked at him once today and the well-dressed man who had sat behind Turk yesterday hadn't been in the courthouse that morning.

"I'll be along in a minute." The deputy left and Adam turned to Mrs. Ralston. "If you would, pick out what you think a little girl would like in the line of shirts and then wrap everything up. I'll bring her by tomorrow for the boots and I'll pick up everything then. Here…" Adam pulled money out his wallet.

"No, Adam. You pay when you pick the things up. Now, don't worry. Go on and I'll have everything ready tomorrow."

Adam thanked her and then walked down the street to the sheriff's office, his mind racing, thoughts tumbling over thoughts, trying to think what Bill Turk could possibly have to say to him.

~ 0 ~

"Well, Adam. I suppose you're pleased with the verdict." Turk partially reclined on his cot, casually resting on one elbow.

"Not really. I would've preferred that you had been on the up and up - and that Ernst Mueller was still alive."

Turk chuckled. He sat up on his cot and Adam stood against the bars. A stool was in the cell but Adam didn't want to sit; he had come only out of intense curiosity but didn't want to stay longer than necessary.

"I wish you hadn't testified against me." Turk said in a casual manner.

"Well, I was subpoenaed, but I would have testified anyway."

Turk shook his head and chuckled. "That was a mistake, Adam. I tried to warn you before the trial even started, but you weren't to home. I heard later you'd gone to San Francisco, heard you brought home a daughter. I didn't know you had a daughter. I guess though, we were never close, you and I."

Adam said nothing; he didn't want to discuss Kitty with Turk but he had the impression that Turk already knew everything.

"You have a wife too. A singer – soprano, right? Ava Silverglade. Such a mellifluous name, don't you think? And your young daughter's name is Katharine - Kitty. Nicknames convey affection, don't you think? Or disdain. But a name like Adam…what can one do to shorten that? Ad? You don't seem the type to have a truncated name."

Adam wanted to leave but his curiosity hadn't been satisfied. "I was told you wanted to see me."

"Yes." Turk chuckled again. "Tell me, Ad, isn't the legal system ridiculous? I mean, think about it. I've been convicted of murder. The judge has already sentenced me to hang but yet, the federal government is still going to try me for fraud and evasion of taxes. I'll probably be convicted and be sentenced to a few years in whatever prison they choose. But I won't be able to serve because I'll be hanged as soon as that trial is done. What a waste of time and money."

"Just consider that it buys you time. I'd think you'd be grateful."

"I'd be more grateful if you'd keep my neck out of that noose."

"Let me guess – you want me to say I lied, to back up your defense."

Turk laughed again. "Can't get one by you, can I, Ad? See, the verdict would be overturned if you said that. I mean if you said you lied, well, there wouldn't be another trial for murder — clear self-defense. As for the federal charge, well, I could handle a few years in prison, maybe even get paroled in a year and two. Good behavior and all that." Turk smiled. Adam remained stone-faced. "And you, Ad, you can have all the profits of the mine. Hell, since Mueller's dead, you wouldn't even have to share with him. Heard his father's selling their store and leaving; you don't even have to tell him how much money you'll be raking in. With your share of the Ponderosa and all that gold and copper, why you'd be the wealthiest man this side of the Mississippi. You could probably even get your wife back; women like money as much as they like a good time on their backs. I think you should listen to me, Ad."

His heart thumping, Adam struggled to appear calm – he couldn't reveal his rising fear. "And why should I listen? Why would I say I'm a goddamned liar when I'm not? Why should I say you didn't murder Ernst Mueller when you did?"

"I just told you. Besides, what's one small slur on your character, Ad? No one will blame you – any man would do the same thing – lie - for all that money. Avarice runs deep in the human soul. And in a year or so, no one will even remember your confessed lie. Besides you're a Cartwright."

Adam smirked. "You haven't yet given a good reason why I should listen."

"Because if you don't, I'll rip out your heart."

A chill ran along Adam's spine at Turk's grin.

Turk continued. "As Ahab said to the white whale, 'From hell's heart, I stab at thee.' No matter where I am, Ad, even if I'm dead, I'll hurt you — I'll burn your very soul to ash."

The two men stared at one another. Adam realized what had just happened and found he wanted to give in, wanted to say he'd retract his testimony, but his innate sense of justice wouldn't let him. He had doubts about Turk's power to reach out from the grave and destroy him, but it was a possibility Adam couldn't discount. What connections did Turk have? Even though Turk was sitting in the Virginia City jail, would be under federal guards on his way to Carson City tomorrow, that didn't mean it was the end.

Adam turned and went to the cell door, his voice raspy. "Roy! I'm ready." And Adam continued looking ahead as from behind him, Turk's voice softly floated to him.

"I did offer you a chance, Ad. You remember that. You're responsible for everything that happens from now on."

Adam couldn't get home fast enough.

~0 ~

Ben rushed out when he heard the noise, the thwack, thwack that echoed through the air, penetrating the house.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ben asked loudly as Adam, his jacket, and tie hanging over the porch rail, his hat tossed on the planks, swung an axe to take down the oak tree outside Kitty's bedroom.

Adam stood up, the sweat running down his face. His horse wandered the front yard, pulling up grass, its' flanks shivering whenever the sound of metal cracking into wood, resounded.

"I'm taking down this tree."

"Why? It keeps that side of the house cool. And look, Adam, it's going to have to fall somewhere!" Ben looked at what was around. They weren't in the forest where trees falling caused no great harm.

"Pa, I have my reasons for…." He stopped as Kitty ran out of the house. She was stopped by Ben who put out his hand.

"Careful, Kitty," Ben cautioned.

"Get in the house, Kitty," Adam ordered sternly.

"Grampa, pick me up!' Kitty reached up for her grandfather, standing on her tip-toes.

Ben swept her up in his arms. "C'mon, Kitty. Your father wants you in the house – let's go."

"I wanna play. Play ball with me, Grampa."

"Later. Let's go inside."

"But, Grampa," Kitty protested but Ben carried her inside. Something was wrong and Adam's distress had infected him.

Adam sighed in relief once Kitty was safe inside. Adam hefted the axe, stepped back to make sure the tree would fall where it would do the least damage, only crashing down on part of the corral fence and not the bunkhouse that stood to the far west of the main house. The corral could be replaced even though it wouldn't please his father to have it damaged. But the tree had to be brought down. In Adam's thinking, it could have served as a means for someone to get to Kitty. He and Hoss had climbed it many times as children and once, when Adam wanted to see a girl, he had snuck out of the house by climbing down. It was also how he managed to get back into the house and he hadn't been caught; no one had heard a thing. Adam wouldn't chance anyone getting into Kitty's room and his mind ran in circles as he swung the axe, trying to think of any other means of vulnerability.


	9. Chapter 9

**I want to thank anyone who enjoys what I write and for the encouragement I do receive. I write for you.**

 **9….Needed Manners and Understanding**

Joe and Hoss, arriving home after a day on the property, asked what had gone on, why the tree was down.

"You chopped it down?" Joe asked in disbelief when Adam told them he had taken it down. "Why'd you do that?"

"Yeah," Hoss added. "It took down part of the corral fence. Hell, Adam, iffen you'd waited, I woulda helped; we coulda topped it and then taken it down in sections."

"It couldn't wait," was all Adam would say. Hop Sing came out with the platter of fried pork chops and the savory odor distracted Hoss from pursuing the topic. But Joe had noticed the tight look about Adam's mouth, that his eldest brother was far from relaxed. There was a reason for the felling of the tree, an important reason as Adam wasn't usually one to act rashly. For Adam to forgo careful planning was uncharacteristic. And there was a tenseness in the air, like the atmosphere before a thunderstorm; something was coming.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Both Joe and Hoss had made attempts to draw Adam into conversation about the trial but he offered nothing, only said that Turk was found guilty. Then conversation turned to the weather and if there would be much rain that month. It was almost time to ferret out any mavericks who may have strayed from the main herd and Ben, Hoss and Joe discussed hiring more temporary hands. Adam remained silent.

Kitty, bored with the adult conversation, played with her peas, leaning her head on one hand as she pushed the green balls about with the heavy silver fork.

"Kitty, sit up," Adam said. "Don't put your elbows on the table. And if you don't want to eat the peas, just leave them alone."

Kitty dropped the fork and it clanked dangerously on the china. Adam snapped his head to see if she had chipped the plate.

"How come Unca Hoss has his elbows on the table?"

"Because he has no manners."

"Now just hold on there, Adam! I've got manners."

"You've got the manners of a hog at…" Adam stopped. Kitty was watching him closely. "I'm sorry, Hoss. I apologize." It was hard to swallow but Adam didn't want his daughter to see his sardonic, sarcastic side. "Kitty, pick up your fork. You need to eat a little more." Adam had noticed that Kitty hadn't even touched her mashed potatoes and she usually loved them.

"I'm not hungry." Kitty said, leaving her fork where it had fallen but she now sat up straight. Adam considered it one battle won. Until Kitty began to bang her heels against the chair legs.

"Stop kicking the chair and why aren't you hungry?"

Kitty shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just not." She dropped her head, pouting, and her hair fell on the table top.

"Sit up, Kitty. You'll get your hair in the gravy. Pa, did you give her cookies before dinner?"

"Well, you were cutting down the tree and since we couldn't play outside, we had a few cookies to stay busy. That's all." Ben sheepishly said. He had known Adam wouldn't approve but at the time it seemed the lesser of two evils.

"I've asked you over and over not to spoil her appetite! She fills up on sugary things when she should have an appetite for dinner."

"Lighten up, wouldja?" Joe said to Adam.

Adam pointed his fork at Joe. "You don't tell me to lighten up! You try raising a girl child and see how well you do!"

"Hey, you can lay off…" Joe stopped, rising slightly from his chair. But then he saw Kitty was watching closely. Joe shook his head and went back to his food.

"Now, Kitty," Adam said, "pick up your fork and eat some more. You don't have to eat much, just something substantial."

Kitty glared at him, holding onto the sides of the seat of her chair. Her fork still lay where it had dropped.

"Pick up the fork, would you?" Adam tried to sound calm but he was churning inside. Kitty, for her own sake, had to learn to do as she was told, had to follow his instructions. It might one day save her life.

"I don't have to do what you say. You can't boss me!"

The family waited silently. Adam put down his fork and slowly pushed back his chair. Then he stood next to Kitty and she looked up at him, daring him, her blue eyes narrowed, her mouth pursed.

"You do have to do what I say. I'm your father and you're my child. We're going upstairs, you and me."

"No! I don't wanna!"

Adam tried to pick Kitty up but she held onto the chair seat as if it was her lifeline. Adam shook her slightly and the chair dropped away. Then he carried his protesting child upstairs and Ben, Joe and Hoss watched as Adam took each stair deliberately, Kitty crying, "No, no, no!" and swinging her legs, trying to kick Adam. Then they disappeared around the corner of the hall.

"Pa," Hoss said, "you don't think he's gonna spank her!"

"I don't know. When any of you behaved like that when you were small, I tanned you good. But a girl, that's different. I just don't know." But he hoped not.

~ 0 ~

"But I don't wanna go to bed," Kitty complained as Adam pulled her dress off over her head. He shook it out, noticing how small it was, how small she was and suddenly he felt like a bully. But then, he considered, either she obeyed him or he and his whole family would become the minions of this small tyrant.

Kitty thought quickly. "But I'm hungry, Pa. I want my mashed taters."

"Potatoes. Mashed potatoes. You misbehaved at dinner so now you're going to bed." Adam picked her up, noticing her small belly and her tiny feet as he pulled off her dirty stockings. Nothing could keep her clean here on the Ponderosa. He went and wet the washcloth, wiping the back of her neck and her arms. She shivered slightly as the evaporation cooled her skin and complained she was cold. Adam reached for the towel and dried her skin.

"Put up your feet. We need to clean between your toes." Adam held up her feet and worked to gently clean her small feet. "You need to use the pot." Adam saw that Joe had made the chair with the hole in the seat and the chamber pot sitting underneath. And beside it was a smaller potty chair.

"No. I don't need to but Jemmy needs to use her 'wee-wee' chair." Kitty sat her doll on the miniature chair. "Now you go potty, Jemmy."

"Kitty, that's a mighty nice potty chair."

"Unca Joe made it and he made one for Jemmy. He said it was a wee-wee chair but Unca Hoss said it was a poopy-pot too. And Unca Joe painted the flower; he let me watch." Kitty pointed to a daisy Joe had painted on the backrest. Adam ran his hand over the wood; Joe had rubbed it smooth as glass.

"That was nice of him. Did you remember to thank him?"

Kitty put a finger to her mouth as if considering. "I think I did. Jemmy's done now." Kitty picked up her doll.

"You need to use the pot now. If you don't, you might…" He was going to say "wet the bed" but changed his mind; he didn't want to give her any ideas. "Okay. I'll leave the potty seat out."

"Wee-wee chair," Kitty corrected.

Adam sighed. He wondered if he could do a proper job of raising Kitty with his family around. "If you have to go, get out of bed and use it." Adam pulled Kitty's nightgown over her head. He picked her up and holding her with one arm wrapped about her while she rested on his hip, he pulled down the covers and put her down. Then he walked over to the window and looked out; the tree was down and it made him feel Kitty was safer. He pulled the curtains closed.

"Now lie down and go to sleep." Adam held the covers, ready to tuck them about her.

"I'm not sleepy." Kitty sat on the sheet holding her rag doll. "Jemmy's not either."

"Fine. Then don't go to sleep. Just don't get out of bed."

"But you said if I had t use the pot…"

"If you have to use the pot, you can but for no other reason."

"It's still sunshine," Kitty complained.

"It'll get dark soon. Goodnight." Adam bent down to kiss his daughter but she ducked her head.

"Don't kiss me!"

"Fine." Adam started to leave the room.

But Kitty wasn't through. "I want Grampa to kiss me goodnight."

It struck Adam through the heart; his daughter preferred his father to him. "I'll tell him. You know, he's your grandfather but he's my father as well, my pa. He took care of me when I was growing up and used to kiss me goodnight."

"Uh-uh." Kitty was confused at the information.

"Yes, he's my father just like I'm your father. I'm your pa and you're my little girl. That's why I wanted to kiss you goodnight. But I'll send my father up to kiss you instead." Adam left and he told himself that being hurt by your child, having your heart-broken in small ways must be part of being a parent.

Kitty sat on the bed holding her doll. This put things in a whole new way that she didn't quite understand. She separated the yarn loops that made Jemmy's hair and looked up when she heard her grandfather's voice. "Kitty?"

"I got something I don't understand, Grampa."

"Oh?" Ben walked over and sat on the bed. "Your pa said you wanted me to kiss you goodnight."

Kitty nodded. "Are you my pa's pa?"

"Yes. And I loved him as my boy and he loves you as his girl and I love both of you."

"And Unca Hoss and Unca Joe?"

"I love them too. They're my boys as well. I have three boys and I love them all. You know, Kitty, when they were small like you and misbehaved like you did at dinner, I took them over my knee and spanked them."

"Did they cry?" Kitty waited for the answer.

Ben smiled. "Sometimes. But your pa, he never cried – his head is as hard as a rock and so was his behind!"

Kitty giggled.

"Now, you better get under the covers." Kitty lay down and Ben pulled up the covers and tucked them around her. "You know, Kitty, your pa loves you very much. He wanted to kiss you goodnight but I'll do it for him." Ben bent down and kissed Kitty's forehead. "Goodnight, my little Kitty-kitten."

~ 0 ~

"I don't know what to make of Turk's threats but he knows about Kitty. So, the tree had to come down."

"Yes, I understand," Ben said.

"And although it's not an excuse, That's why I've been on edge. I am sorry about chewing out everyone's ass all day. I want to stay around here a few days, do chores around the house or barn – I'm uneasy until I know Turk's in the Carson City jail. And promise me, all of you, that you'll keep an eye on Kitty when she's outside with you. Watch her close. And Pa, I trust Hop Sing but don't leave her alone with him for long. He's too busy."

"Now, Adam," Ben said. "He's let Kitty plant a few seeds in the kitchen garden and she's been going out with him and watering the plants. I think that's safe."

"No. He doesn't carry a gun. And that's another thing – even if you go out to sit on the porch with her or anything, carry a loaded sidearm or rifle."

Joe and Hoss looked at one another. "Adam, you don't think that'll scare Kitty none, havin' us always armed?"

"I'd rather have her scared than…taken, or worse."

Ben was about to speak when Kitty's voice came from the top of the stairs.

"Pa!"

Adam, sitting on the settee, craned his neck. "What is it, Kitty?"

"I can't sleep."

"I told you – you don't have to sleep, just stay in bed. Now go back to bed."

"I can't."

Adam sighed. "Why not?"

"'Cause…I'm scared."

Joe giggled. "Probably of you!" he said to Adam.

"Very funny. Kitty, what are you 'scared' of?"

"Bears."

"Kitty, there are no bears except the one on your toy shelf and you don't have to be afraid of him." Adam waited, watching her as she stood at the top landing, holding her doll against her chest, pulling at its hair with one small hand.

"Well…I'm lonely. Can you keep me comp'ny?"

Ben looked at his eldest, a knowing smile on his face.

Adam rose from his chair. "Okay, Kitty. I'll keep you company." Adam stood up but before he went up the stairs, he turned to his father. "Pa, if you loved me even half as much as I love her, I apologize for all the misery I must have caused you." Then Adam went up the stairs and when he arrived at the top, Adam put out his hand. Kitty took it, looking up at him, and Adam kept Kitty and Jemmy company until Kitty fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**10….Something Wicked**

That morning, Adam struggled to get Kitty's shoes on. "Kitty, keep your ankle straight, would you?"

"I am, Pa. They hurts." She frowned and pushed back her hair that Adam hadn't yet fixed.

Adam sighed; the shoes were becoming too small. "I swear these fit fine just yesterday," he said to himself. "How would you like a pair of boots like your uncles wear?"

"I'd like that just fine."

"And some dungarees and a nice shirt and how about a hat."

"Like Unca Hoss?"

"Not like his hat – one a little smaller." Kitty grinned.

Adam, Hoss and Joe took Kitty into town to buy her boots. Adam had put up the hood on the buggy, "in case someone is watching us on the road." Kitty was excited on the ride, sitting on Hoss' lap in the back of the buggy while Joe and Hoss let her try on their hats; Hoss' fell to her shoulders, swallowing her whole head, and they all laughed – except Adam. He was too busy looking about as they took the familiar road into town.

But Adam hoped he had taken adequate precautions having also told all the ranch hands to be on the lookout for any stranger on Ponderosa property and to immediately report if anyone was seen.

The ranch hands looked at one another, some of them uncomfortable with policing the property; they had more than enough to do already. "Adam," Thad said, "there're people taking shortcuts through the Ponderosa all the time. You know that. 'Sides, we can't just up and leave what we're doin' to report on a homesteader's wagon cuttin' corners."

"I'm more interested in riders, either single or more, who have no business here. And as for people cutting across, that's going to end. Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting 'No Trespass' signs. They're to be enforced." The hands looked confused, wondering what had changed. No one had heard anything that might cause the Cartwrights to tighten the perimeter. Things had been that way years ago when there were claim-jumpers, rustlers, poachers and squatters who knew that if they stayed long enough, they would have certain rights to the land. Back in the day, trespassers were first warned they would be shot on sight even seen again. Although no one ever was, it was enough to put the fear of God into most of them. People still passed through, homesteaders looking for land, hopefuls searching for the gold fields, and the hands were directed to inform them to move on after allowing them one night's rest. Now it seemed Adam Cartwright was taking them back to the inhospitality of the early days and none of the ranch hands knew why. But they knew what they needed to do – follow Adam's orders.

Kitty was pleased with her new brown boots to keep the sand and dirt out. She left the store in new stiff dungarees that barely moved when she walked and a new blue plaid shirt. "Those dungarees are like men's," Mrs. Ralston said. "Have Hop Sing wash them a few times and they'll soften up."

When Kitty came home, excited about the new clothes, Adam finally convinced her to put her dress back on so that the new clothes could be washed. Reluctantly, she agreed and stripped down to put on her dress and pinafore. But she insisted on wearing the boots and would have worn the small felt hat as well but Adam told her that was bad manners.

"See how Uncle Joe and Hoss put their hats there?" He pointed to the hat rack by the door. "I put mine there as well as so is Grampa's." So Adam picked her up and Kitty hung her hat.

Hop Sing assiduously did Kitty's laundry himself, rubbing Kitty's dungarees on the washboard to break down the stiff fibers. He also washed her tiny shirts and socks, hanging them out on the line until Adam told him to take them in.

"Shirts not dry! Trousers not dry – take long time! Leave out longer."

"No, bring them in now. I don't want to advertise Kitty's here. Just hang them in the kitchen to dry." With much mumbling in Chinese, and with great displeasure, Hop Sing took in Kitty's laundry and strung a line in the kitchen. He frowned the rest of the day as he had to duck under the clothes as he moved about his domain.

The rest of the week passed with no incident except the argument over the swing. Ben had made one on a tree in the back of the house; he could sit on the rarely-used back porch and watch her.

"Adam, you can't keep a child inside all day. She needs sunshine and to run around, to exercise."

"Growing up, I stayed in rented rooms all day while you worked and I managed just fine." Adam noticed the flash of pain on his father's face. "Pa, I didn't mean anything by it, just that, Kitty can stay inside for a little while; it won't hurt her."

"I'll keep my gun with me, Adam, but this is becoming…don't you think you're carrying this a bit too far."

"No, I don't. I talked to Bill Turk, remember. He meant what he said."

Kitty came running out onto the back porch. Adam noticed her face light up with pleasure. "A swing!" She quickly scurried down the porch stairs and ran to the swing, trying to get up to the seat.

Hoss stood grinning, watching his niece. _"Grampa built you a swing out back. Wanna see it?"_

"You had to bring her out, didn't you, show her the swing. No one checked with me."

"C'mon, Adam. We're all finished with work for the day. There's probably two more hours daylight. With both me and Pa watchin' 'er, ain't nobody goin' to do nothin'"

"Grampa, come help me," Kitty asked as she kept trying to get onto the piece of wood. Then she added, "Please." Ben glanced at Adam and then, with a shake of his head, went to lift Kitty on to the swing's seat. He then started pushing her while she held on to the ropes, delighted.

"Let me ask you somethin', Adam," Hoss said, "just what d'you think's gonna happen?"

"I don't know. And that's what's got me scared the most. I don't know how to prepare for it – how to prevent it. It keeps me awake at night." Adam sat down on the porch steps and Hoss sat beside him.

"Adam, she'll be all right. Turk's locked up in the Carson City jail and you know he's gonna be convicted of all them federal charges. He'll be shipped off to some prison. Things'll get back to normal soon."

"I don't even know what normal is anymore. But if anything happens to Kitty, well…"

"Nothin' will, Adam. Not with all of us around."

~ 0 ~

Before going to sleep, Adam responded to Ava's letter. Joe had picked up the mail in town. Her letter was there along with a few other letters dealing with business, the issues of a few subscribed newspapers and some catalogs. Joe had handed Adam the letter at dinner but said nothing.

Adam wanted to read it in private. He was tempted to tell Kitty that it was from her mother but was unsure of the reaction. Kitty had warmed to them all, seemed to enjoy the ranch and the animals they raised. All except the pigs. "They stink, Pa, like my poopy pot only they stink all the time!" To remind Kitty of her mother now might cause her unhappiness just when she seemed to be adjusting. At night, when Kitty said her prayers and asked for blessing on her mother, she often stopped and asked Adam when her mother was coming for her. But Adam always said, he didn't know.

If Ava sent good news, then Adam would read Kitty the letter, well, the parts pertaining to her. He surprised himself as he picked up the letter opener – his hands were shaking a bit. Holding his breath, he unfolded the paper and quickly scanned the elegant writing. The letter was dated a week after he had left with Kitty.

 _Dear Adam,_

 _I know this may seem too soon to be writing after giving Kitty to you, but I miss my child and fear I have made a mistake in letting you take her. How is my darling Kitty? Does she ask for me? Part of me hopes she wants to be with me but another part of me hopes she is happy with you and your family. I pray she is well and that you are good to her. But I am sure you will be; I know you love her as well._

 _We sail for Europe in five more weeks; it seemed so far off but now it's almost here and I am doubting my decision. But my patron has invested so much money that I can't change my mind. Will you write me quickly so that I may have news of her before I leave?_

 _Please tell Kitty I love her and always will. Kiss her goodnight for me every night; I envy you her hugs and small kisses. Tell her that I will be back in a few months – a long time, but not so very long. I will send her cards from all my engagements. Let her know I will return with many gifts along with many kisses for my darling girl._

 _Thank you, Adam, for taking care of our daughter. I believe Kitty embodies the best of both of us._

 _I do care for you, Adam. I'm sorry how things have worked out between us but we have our child and she is worth all pain and heartbreak we suffered._

 _With enduring affection,_

 _Ava_

Adam had placed the letter down and dropped his head in his hands. He decided he wouldn't read Kitty the letter but instead, each evening, kiss her twice, once for him and one for her mother. Adam pulled out vellum as he sat at his desk, and wrote Ava. It was short and to the point, reassuring her that Kitty was well and that she seemed to be taking to life on the Ponderosa. And he promised he would remind Kitty of her mother every day.

He hesitated when it came to a closing. Finally, Adam wrote, "With eternal devotion, Adam." And the next morning, he planned to ask Hoss to post the letter when he went to town but Hoss had left earlier than usual and returned just as breakfast was served.

"I smelled them pancakes all the way here," Hoss said. "Got the mail, Pa. And here's a wire for you." Hoss tossed the small brown envelope to Adam and took his seat. "And you, Missy," Hoss said, smiling at Kitty, "I got a big ol' rocking chair in the back of the buckboard so's you can be rocked in your room and told stories. Now, Grampa, he's been tellin' stories ever since your pa was a baby. He's got loads of 'em and your pa does too. He reads all them books and knows all sorts of good stories."

"And you have that whole shelf of books," Joe added. "When we're through with breakfast, Hoss and me'll bring that chair inside and up to your room."

Kitty beamed. She basked in the attention given generously by all the Cartwright men including Hop Sing. There was always someone.

"Grampa," she said, "I gots a rocking chair!"

Ben forced himself back to the discussion. He had been watching Adam as he read the wire. Adam's face had gone white and he seemed to keep rereading. Then he stood up and took the paper out to the front porch. Both Joe and Hoss watched him go but said nothing. Ben responded to Kitty, saying that he was happy and he would tell her a really good fairy story. Then he left to follow Adam outside.

Adam sat on one of the porch chairs, the wire held loosely in his hand. He was breathing shallowly, as if he was stunned.

"What is it, Adam?"

Adam looked up at his father and shook his head; he didn't think he could speak. He handed the wire to Ben and then held his hand over his mouth, stifling any words.

Ben saw it was from a man named Frank Kaley. He read: _Ava dead STOP So sorry STOP Want you to know first STOP Bringing coffin Carson City STOP Arriving June 12 2pm_

"Oh, Adam…" Ben heavily sat down across from his son. "I'm so sorry."

Adam worked to control himself. Ava, dead. So many questions. And what would he tell Kitty?

"Pa, I don't know what…what do I do? I can't seem to handle this. I can't think of what to do."

"At the moment, nothing. This Kaley said he's arriving day after tomorrow. You'll see him then and he can…update you. In the meantime, I think we should make arrangements for her burial, engage the pastor for the graveside ceremony and then, just wait. There's nothing else to do but wait."

Adam said nothing, his eyes, red-rimmed. He stared ahead into nothing. Nothing.

"Do you want Ava buried on the Ponderosa? She could be buried by the lake with Marie…" Ben let his voice drift off.

"The graveyard of dead wives, huh?" Adam smiled at his morbid comment. "Ava hated the Ponderosa. The graveyard in Virginia City is…no, not for her. I want her buried in Carson City."

"Okay. We'll get there early in the morning but take the buckboard in case you decide to bring her home.

Adam nodded and sat back. "How do I tell Kitty?"

"You don't have to say anything yet. The opportunity will arise on its own.

"No. I need to tell her. She should know. But I…" Adam stood up. "I need to tell her, Pa. Tonight."

"If you think it's best, but, maybe you should reconsider." Adam said nothing; Ben knew Adam had made up his mind. Ben sighed. "I'll let Hop Sing, Hoss and Joe know where we're going tomorrow and why. They'll watch Kitty."

"I need to tell them not to let her out of their sight," Adam said. Fear suddenly gripped him by the throat, strangling him, as Turk's words came back to him - _I'll rip out your heart._


	11. Chapter 11

**11….Truth Denied**

"Kitty," Adam said as he pulled her on his lap. They were in her bedroom and he held her while in the rocking chair. "Kitty, I need to tell you something and it'll make you sad."

Kitty looked up at him, holding her doll tightly, and frowned. It was nap time, her eyes were heavy, she was fussy, and she wanted to be rocked before being put down. Adam was happy to comply. And although Adam hadn't planned to tell her about Ava, he realized his father had been right about the opportunity arising.

"Kitty, you know how sometimes things die, like animals and such."

"Uh, huh."

"And you know that when things die, they never come back."

Kitty nodded. "But Mrs. Jepson told me people go to heaven. When people die they go up to heaven…" She raised her arms, Her doll dangling by one arm, and looked up, "and they live with Jesus."

Adam stopped the rocking chair. "Yes. Well, suppose your momma's gone to Jesus."

"Uh-uh. My momma's gonna come back and get me. I'm gonna live with my momma when she comes and gets me!"

"Aren't you happy here, Kitty?"

"I wanna live with my momma." Yet she said it with less insistence this time.

"Kitty. Your momma's…" Adam hesitated to say Ava was dead, to use that word. The news was upsetting enough as it was. He didn't want to beat her over the head with the terminology. Adam found he couldn't come out and tell Kitty that her mother was dead. He was a coward. "She's not coming back for you, Kitty, but I'm here and so is Grampa and your uncles and we'll take care of you forever."

"Uh-uh! You're lying!" Kitty reached up and popped his mouth with one small palm. "You're a liar! You're a big, ugly liar head and I hate you!" Kitty struggled to get down and Adam let her go. Dropping her doll, Kitty ran from the room and Adam could hear her bootheels as they struck each step on the way down. Adam picked up Jemmy and looked at the well-loved doll; could a loved-one be tossed aside so easily? Was his relationship with Kitty as tenuous? Adam tossed the doll on the bed and went to the top landing. His father had swept Kitty up in his arms and she was crying, sobbing as she clung to her grandfather.

"My momma's coming back!" Kitty cried to Ben. "She is!" Kitty buried her face against Ben's neck.

Ben looked up at Adam. Adam said nothing, only walked down the stairs until he reached them.

"I told her her Mother wasn't returning. That's all."

Ben nodded; he knew what to say now to comfort hi weeping grandchild.

Adam walked out of the house. He stood in the yard and looked up at the afternoon sky. It was a sunny day but yet he felt he was standing in shadow. This sense of darkness came on him from time to time ever since he had returned from the war; it seemed to stifle his enjoyment of life and its pleasure. He had often tried to overcome the dark mood by drinking but that only served to make the world darker yet. Sometimes, visiting a brothel brought a brief respite from the numbness of his emotions, but not always. But the moods had always passed. But this one, it felt like the lead capes the hypocrites wore in Dante's _Inferno,_ dazzling on the surface but leaden and such a heavy burden. The ugliness was on the inside. Sometimes Adam could throw it off, lose the heaviness for months but eventually, he donned it again and struggled under the weight.

Adam strode to the barn. He brought his horse out of its stall and quickly saddled it. He walked it out and mounted. Then he kicked it hard and the horse, initially stunned, took off at a gallop. Adam pulled the rein to indicate the direction and he took his horse over the countryside. He didn't have his gun or rifle with him, but he didn't care. For some reason, he had no fear for his life or perhaps at the moment, he didn't value it. Maybe a bullet to the brain would resolve all his issues.

And he didn't return to the house until long after dark.

~ 0 ~

"I put Kitty to bed." Ben sat in his favorite chair, smoking his pipe. He had been considering going to search for his eldest.

"Thanks, Pa." Adam walked over to behind the settee. "Everyone else in bed?"

"No, just Kitty. Hoss and Joe went to town. They took the news about Ava hard – more for Kitty's and your sake than their own. They understand about watching Kitty tomorrow and what to say and not say. I made sure they didn't say anything about Ava's death."

"I couldn't tell her, Pa. All my talk about children being able to accept bad news, about how children should always be told the full truth, well, I am as weak as everyone else. I'll tell her but…well, I'll let a little time pass before I do."

"She is young, Adam. Very young and seeing that her life has been full of upheaval, I think it would have been too much too soon. Once she's more secure with us, then it might be easier – not for her necessarily, but for you."

"I guess I am being selfish, wanting to keep her from hating me. I considered whether I should take Kitty with us tomorrow, let her see her mother so she can see and then I could talk to her about death, but…I can't see any good coming from that."

"I can't either. She doesn't need to. Joe tested the idea of taking Kitty to his mother's grave, explaining things. But I told him to wait and ask you before he did anything."

Adam walked around the back of the settee and sat down. "Did Kitty give you any trouble about bedtime? Did she wash her neck? She needs a bath."

"She didn't give any of us trouble about anything and Hop Sing and I gave her a bath. She didn't want her ears cleaned though. Hoss rocked her to sleep. Thank goodness he bought a well-made chair that would hold him."

Adam smiled. Then the smile dropped. "I was making such good progress with Kitty and now, now she hates me. She called me a liar and, damn, I sound like a whining kid, she hit me." Adam had to stop, his throat closing with unshed tears.

"Adam," Ben rose and went to sit by Adam, placing a hand on Adam's bowed back. "She's your daughter and she'll come around. Of course, she doesn't want to believe that her mother's never coming back and as far as she can see, you're to blame. She's only a child and I think it's best to wait until she can truly understand what death is, what it actually means. It's a difficult concept for young children to understand."

"I understood," Adam said, looking at his father. "I knew what it meant and I think Kitty will too. It means her mother is never coming back. I should have told her."

"Adam, if you believe that's so, that Kitty would understand, then tell her. It can wait for a week or so. She'll need you even more then, will need all of us even more. Things will get better with time; they always do."

Adam managed a smile and nodded to his father. Then he stood and Ben's hand dropped away. "I'm going up to bed. I'll check on Kitty."

Once he reached Kitty's door, Adam slowly opened it far enough to step in. He stood over his child as she slept, her small face lit by the glow of the moon. The covers were in disarray and Adam pulled them back up and around her. He bent over and tenderly kissed her.

Then Adam walked to the window and looked out. The trees rose up around the house and Adam wondered how long it would take and how much man-power to clear the area even further. For all he knew, there was a gunman behind every tree, evil hidden within the guise of a calm, starry night.

He stepped back and looked at Kitty again. She was so small in the big bed that it broke his heart. His child was so vulnerable and who knew what further pain awaited her in her lifetime? If he could, Adam considered that he would willingly endure all suffering if it would keep her untouched by any more pain. But he knew it was ridiculous; he had managed and so would Kitty. But would she end up like him, having a sardonic view on life, assuming that all people were out only for themselves and therefore, protect herself by never becoming close to anyone?

He reached the door and turned back one more time. He couldn't leave her, not tonight. Adam went back to the rocking chair, pulled off his boots and sat back, the chair tilting. He would sleep there.

~ 0 ~

"Adam," Frank Kaley said, putting out his hand, "sorry to see you again under such sad circumstances."

Adam shook his hand and introduced Frank to his father.

"How's Kitty doing?" Frank asked.

"She doing well but I didn't tell her."

"I understand. And I hate to bring it up at this time but, well, the money for bringing Ava's body here came from her bank account. I managed her money but now it's up to you. I have the banking information and already listed you on the account. If nothing else, the money should go to Kitty."

"Yes, I'll take care of that. Thank you for handling all this, Frank. I do appreciate it." Adam was interrupted by the unloading of the polished mahogany coffin. It had elegant brass fittings and handles.

"I hope it's suitable…"

"Yes." Adam looked at the oblong box but couldn't picture Ava inside, looking still and calm. Ava was rarely still, her being always emanating a vibrant life-force. At the undertaker's he would ask to look inside the coffin, to see Ava resting on the white satin. That was the only way Adam knew he could accept she was gone, that Ava wasn't somewhere in the world; now he'd be without her.

The hearse was waiting; Adam had made arrangements with the undertaker earlier that morning. The hired men unloaded the mahogany coffin and carefully slid it inside the hearse, then closing the curtained doors. People on the platform looked at the procedure and wondered, as people are wont to do, who died and why they would be brought by train to Carson City? Was it someone important? Perhaps a lawmaker? Then the decorated hearse slowly drove to the undertaker's; the burial would be in another two hours.

"How did it happen, Frank?"

Frank cleared his throat and then answered, "Badly. I imagine your paper will carry it soon but here." Frank had part of a newspaper folded lengthwise in his jacket's inside pocket. "I brought her here instead of having you fetch the body; I thought it would be easier and faster." He handed the paper, The _San Francisco Herald,_ to Adam.

Adam read the article twice. "Both of them," he said, almost in a whisper. "Both of them killed. And the housekeeper." The newspaper reported the horrendous crime, called it the most vile murder in San Francisco's history.

"Adam?" Ben asked. "May I see it." Ben read, his brow furrowed:

 _Mr. Jason D. Hanover, the railroad industrialist, and his mistress, Miss Ava Silverglade, the renowned soprano, have both been maliciously murdered in his mansion, by a yet unknown killer that has the whole city on tenterhooks. It seems the investigators, at the time of this writing, have no clues. The victims were found by a business partner, Mr. Morris Entwhistle, on the floor of their upstairs bedroom wearing evening clothes as they were to have attended a gala given by the V &T Railroad Board of Directors. _

_The housekeeper's throat had been slashed. Miss Silverglade appears to have been strangled with her own string of pearls; Mr. Hanover was shot a total of three times. Nothing obvious had been taken, although the house held many valuable treasures and Miss Silverglade owned much expensive jewelry including the pair of ruby earrings and sapphire bracelet she was wearing when killed. Therefore, robbery does not appear the motivation._

 _The investigation is ongoing._

"He did it," Adam said, his voice guttural.

Frank Kaley and Ben looked at one another. "Who, Adam?" Ben asked. "Who are you accusing?"

Ben faced his father. "Bill Turk, that son-of-a-bitch. He did it."

"Adam, he…" Ben reached for his son but Adam threw off his hand.

"No. He swore revenge and this is just the start. I never thought he'd use Ava to get at me."

"Doesn't it make more sense, Adam, that whoever it was wanted revenge on Hanover? He was a businessman who took advantage of many people, people he financially broke, destroyed. It was more than likely one of his enemies who…. Ava and the housekeeper just happened to be caught up in it."

Adam's jaw worked as he considered his father's words. Adam remembered Turk's words, that he would make Adam suffer, but why should he think that Ava was chosen just to take revenge on him? Why did he think Turk was that powerful? It was that look as he threatened Adam in the jail cell, the smile.

"I'll be back, Pa." Adam took the newspaper from his father. "You and Frank accompany the body to the undertaker's and I'll meet you there, that is….are you staying for the burial, Frank?"

"Yes, of course. And I have papers in my valise for you, papers regarding Ava. She has a cousin in a small town in Indiana. I don't think they were close but…well, if you want to inform her, I have her address. We can talk afterwards."

Adam stalked off.

"Adam?" Ben called. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be back, Pa."

Adam found the sheriff's office – it wasn't difficult as there was construction nearby for a federal enforcement office. Carson City, since it was the state capitol and the home of the governor among other lawmakers, had a distinct division between the federal marshals who dealt with such laws, and the local sheriff who handled small civil crimes and disturbances.

"Sheriff?" Adam said as he walked in and saw a man sitting at a desk, reading the newspaper, his feet up on his desk.

The man swung his feet off the desk and stood up. "I'm the deputy. Can I help you?"

"Where's the sheriff?"

"In the courthouse with the federal marshals. We got a trial goin' one…"

"Bill Turk?"

"Yeah. It's been in the paper." He motioned toward the one Adam held. "That today's?"

"No. This is the _San Francisco Herald_. I know who committed these murders, well, who contracted them." Adam tossed the newspaper on the desk.

The deputy picked it up and moved his lips as he read. "Well, why're you tellin' us? This happened in San Francisco. Tell them."

"I want you or the sheriff to wire the San Francisco police and tell them that the person who's responsible is here in Carson City."

"And just who would that be?" the deputy asked disdainfully.

Adam knew how ridiculous it would sound but said it anyway. "William Turk."

The deputy laughed, not even trying to temper his contempt. "Mister, he's on trial at the courthouse and locked up tight every night. He don't see no one and no one's allowed to see him. He's watched by federal agents every minute of every day. Hell, they're even crawlin' up his ass so I don't know how you think he snuck outta the jail and went to San Francisco to kill these people, but you're dreamin'."

"I didn't say Turk did it, I said he had someone do it for him."

"Well, iffen you think that, then you go to San Francisco and tell them big city…whadda they call 'em…constables. What evidence you got against Turk?"

"He said he would get revenge against me and Ava Silverglade was my wife."

"Your wife? Hanover's mistress is your wife?" The deputy smirked. "Did Turk say he would kill…" the deputy found malicious humor in the whole idea, "Miss Silverglade?" This well-dressed, well-spoken man who stood at least a head higher than he, wasn't so intimidating anymore. What kind of man allows his own wife to become the whore of another man.

Adam knew he was now an object of disdain to the deputy before him. But he had to go on. "Not by name, no."

The deputy chuckled and shook his head. "Well, tell them in San Francisco and let them worry about it 'cause it's got nothin' to do with us here. That's where the crime happened," the deputy said, tapping the newspaper, "and that's where you gotta report it. But don't be surprised if they just laugh in your face. Now, I got better things to do than listen to such shit what you're sayin'." The deputy sat back down and tried to avoid looking at Adam. The man made him nervous all of a sudden - it was in his eyes. The man before him could be dangerous and the deputy slid one hand to his gun holster.

"You're a goddamn, ignorant jackass," Adam hissed and snatched back the article. He quickly walked to the undertaker's, the heat of the late afternoon making him want a beer. And after reading about Ava's death, after how the deputy had responded, he felt the desire to get very drunk. But it would have to wait.


	12. Chapter 12

**12….The Other Shoe Drops**

Except for the deathly paleness of her skin, Ava looked beautiful. Her hair was elegantly coiffed and her lips were painted with rouge. She was dressed in a high-necked, violet gown but wore no jewelry. Frank Kaley had told him that her jewelry was in the bank vault; he had put it there himself before he left for Carson City. The information was in the documents he had gathered to hand over to Adam. "After all, they belong to Kitty," Frank had said.

Adam looked down at Ava and it would be easy for anyone else to believe she was merely sleeping but it was obvious to him she was dead. No pulse throbbed at her throat, her skin didn't glisten in the light from the gas lamps. Even her hair seemed less burnished; the light had been extinguished.

"You can close it now," Adam said and the undertaker's assistant, deferentially did so. Then the coffin was taken to the Carson City cemetery where Ava was lowered into the grave, the dirt still fresh and moist. A temporary headstone was placed to mark Ava's grave. A permanent headstone was on order from the Georgia Marble Company, a quarry that was known for its fine marble outcroppings.

A minister, who for $5.00, spoke a few words over Ava's grave, stepped back and the grave diggers who had been standing respectfully off to the side, approached, waiting until each man picked up a handful of dirt and tossed it onto the coffin. Then they shoveled the dirt back on and Ben placed a purchased bouquet of flowers on the grave.

"Thank you, Frank, for all you've done," Adam said, putting out his hand.

"It was the least I could do. I had been with her for over 10 years. I couldn't believe it had been that long. I'm sorry it ended up this way. The word has lost her beautiful voice."

"Do you need anything?" Adam asked him. "Money? Anything at all?"

"No, no nothing, but thank you. I'm going to New York. I'm hoping to find another client, maybe joining a management group. Singers and actors well, they're becoming more desired now that the war is over. Seems that people are eager to be amused – by just about anything."

Frank caught the next train east and Adam and Ben headed back to the Ponderosa; they drove in silence, Adam deep in thought. But about an hour from home, Adam slapped the reins on the backs of the two horses and called out, "H'yah!" The horses' ears twitched and they slightly jumped, picking up their pace. Ben gripped the side of the seat to right himself as the buckboard rocked.

"Take it easy, Adam. You'll dump me off the side. We'll be home soon enough."

"Not soon enough for me. I just…I want to check on Kitty."

"I'm sure she' fine. Maybe a little more spoiled, a little tired by now, but fine." The buckboard careened as a wheel hit a large rock and Ben struggled to say upright. "Adam, slow down a little, would you? You're going to turn us over!"

Adam pulled up the reins a bit and the horses slowed down but Adam kept them at a faster pace than a quick walk.

Ben looked over at Adam. Of his sons, Ben felt he knew Adam best and also, the least. But he recognized the set of Adam's jaw, his determination to get home quickly; something was eating at him, something he had been thinking about during his extended silence. "I didn't say anything because you didn't seem to want to talk and I respected that, but now, well, where did you go when you left Frank and me? To the sheriff's?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Sheriff was at the courthouse so I told the deputy that Turk was responsible for Ava's death and that of the others. He basically laughed in my face. Told me Turk's been under guard and on trial and that he couldn't have done it. Asked me what proof I had and when I told him about Turk's threat, he dismissed it. I understand how ridiculous it all sounded but that's only because he doesn't know what I do. He wouldn't even wire the officials in San Francisco and ask them to investigate it so it's up to me to find justice for Ava. And what's worse is that it's due to me and my testimony. I think I'll have to go to San Francisco myself."

"Adam, just… think a minute. Hanover had enemies – every wealthy man does and I'm sure to keep on top, he destroyed others below him. I'm sure many men wanted Hanover dead. Whoever committed the murders, probably targeted him. Ava and the housekeeper, unfortunately, they were there and had to be…silenced."

"No, I don't believe that. Hanover could have been shot down on the street or as he rode in his buggy. But he was killed in his home, and not just any home. It was a huge house on Nob Hill. The message was that they can get to anyone, anywhere. Someone – more than one person, most likely, broke in, killed the housekeeper and then shot Hanover. He died quickly but Ava, she died…" Adam felt himself choke at the thought of how Ava died. He recovered himself and continued. "She died staring into the face of her killer. She was the intended target and it was a message for me. I know it."

"Adam, If Turk wanted revenge against you, why wouldn't he just have you killed? Why kill Ava?"

Adam faced his father. "I'd think that'd be obvious. If I were dead, I couldn't retract my testimony."

"Oh." Ben sat in silence for a moment. "Adam, step up those horses. We need to get home."

Adam cracked he reins again and the horses took off at a canter, the buckboard careening occasionally, and Ben braced his legs against the front board and held on.

~ 0 ~

"That's Doc Martin's wagon," Adam said as he slowed the buggy. He leaned back, pulling on the reins, and with one foot, pushed down the brake and then leapt off and ran to the house. Ben followed.

Adam threw open the door, holding his breath until he saw Kitty. She and Hop Sing were at the checker table and Hop Sing was watching while Kitty stacked the checkers into a tall tower. When Kitty saw her father, she clambered down and ran to him, the heels of her small boots clicking on the wood floor.

"Pa, Pa, Unca Hoss got hurted!"

Kitty was all right. Adam whispered, "Thank you, God," while he swept Kitty up in his arms, He clutched her close, burying his face in her hair and fought the urge to cry with relief. Kitty was fine.

She struggled in his arms, "But, Pa, Unca Hoss, he gots blood on his head and, Pa…Pa, let me down! Unca Hoss is upstairs."

Adam kneeled and put Kitty down, not ready to let her go. Hop Sing hovered nearby and Adam realized his father was already upstairs having taken the steps two or three at a time.

"I'll go see Uncle Hos, sweetheart, but you stay here with Hop Sing." Then another thought occurred to him; he looked at Hop Sing. "Where's Joe?"

"Mistah Joe, him fine. Upstairs. You want me take Kitty?"

"Kitty, you stay down here with Hop Sing. I'm going to visit Uncle Hoss, okay?"

"I wanna go see Unca Hoss too."

"Missy Kitty," Hop Sing said, bending down, "Hop Sing need help of little one to make pie for Mistah Hoss. It make him feel much better. You help with dough and sugar pouring."

Kitty thought for a moment. She did want to see her uncle; the whole experience had been fascinating and a little frightening. Uncle Hoss was big and it was hard to think of what could hurt him. After all, if he could be hurt, well, where did that leave a child like her?

But helping Hop Sing held a special draw for her. Kitty was fascinated by the kitchen and especially the stove. She liked watching Hop Sing deftly chop and slice vegetables. Hop Sing would sit her on the counter and let her help him make pies. She was also his "special taster" of the fillings, and he would give her pieces of dough to make her own ill-formed pies.

"Pa," Kitty said, looking up at Adam, "tell Unca Hoss I'm gonna make him a pie. Okay?"

"Okay." Adam felt weak suddenly; he had been so tense for so long that now it was as if his body just wanted to collapse. "Thank you, Hop Sing. If you haven't yet, bolt the kitchen door."

Hop Sing nodded and then he and Kitty went into the kitchen. Adam looked about the room. He walked to the front door and threw the bolt. He then went to all the windows, closed them and the shutters, throwing the hasps to keep the wooden shutters from refolding. Then he headed upstairs.

Hoss lay on the bed, Joe sat in the corner chair and Dr. Martin was talking with Ben.

"Now, Pa, don't worry none," Hoss said weakly, his eyes closed. The doctor had applied a plaster to the side of his head. "I'm gonna be fine."

"Let me hear that from Doc Martin, here, if you don't mind," Ben said. He felt angry and afraid both at the same time.

Adam looked at the bed; there was a pile of toys on it. Kitty's doll was tucked next to Hoss.

"What's with all the toys?"

Joe, who now stood next to Adam, answered, "Kitty brought them in. She gave him Jemmy to help him feel better but when Doc said he'd need to say in bed for a few days, she brought in all those toys so he could play with them while he got better."

Hoss smiled as he listened but he had yet to open his eyes; apparently, Adam considered, the light hurt his eyes. Adam turned to Joe, "What happened?"

Joe pulled Adam aside. "I'm not quite sure of all the details yet, but from what Hoss said, he was shot from the saddle—knocked him out cold. Said when he came to, his horse was gone – actually it had come home but we hadn't seen it yet – and Hoss said he managed to make it here, crawling part of the way when his head hurt too much and he was too dizzy to stand upright. I was headed out to find him when he came staggering around the barn, holding onto the side for dear life.

"Hop Sing and I managed to get him upstairs but we couldn't keep Kitty out. Anyway, Hop Sing and Kitty sat with Hoss, Hop Sing doing what he could until I came back with the doc. That's all Hoss could manage to say. I asked if he knew who shot him but he just shook his head, well, not really shook it.

"Doc said Hoss is lucky. It didn't blind him or kill him. A few centimeters difference and, well, Hoss is damn lucky. I think that if the shot hadn't knocked him cold, he'd been shot again until he was still – and dead.

"Oh, and something else, Kitty and I had a little talk about death."

Adam sucked in his breath. "What did you say? Did she ask about her mother not coming back?"

"No, not really. She asked me if Hoss was going to die. I told her that Doc said he wasn't. Then she asked me if I knew people who died. I told her my mother died, and Hoss' mother and yours died too. I don't think she knew how to take that 'cause then she asked me if you were going to die. I told her, no. I don't know if it was the right thing to say or not, I mean I could've told her everyone's going to die and all that stuff, but I just couldn't say things like that. She's so little and all."

Adam put a hand on Joe's shoulder. "Thank you. I couldn't have done any better."

Joe nodded and went back to the chair and sat down. It would be a long night.

~ 0 ~

It was difficult to get Kitty down for the night. Before she would get in bed, she begged Adam let her say goodnight to Hoss.

"Kitty, I think Hoss is asleep. We should leave him alone."

"But I wanna see him! Please, Pa, please? Can I?"

Adam considered. Kitty had seen Hoss bloody and staggering. At least now he was cleaned up and resting.

"All right. We'll just go look in on him. In the morning, he'll be better and you can see him again." Adam picked up Kitty and took her in to see Hoss.

Hoss lay sleeping, snoring softly, having been given a dose of laudanum. _"He's a big boy, Ben. It'll take more than the usually amount – but don't give him too much," Doctor Martin had said._

"See, Kitty. Uncle Hoss is asleep. Now let's get you back to bed."

"Can I kiss him goodnight?"

Adam was a bit surprised but he lowered his daughter down and she lightly kissed Hoss' forehead. "Goodnight, Unca Hoss."

"Wait," Joe said. He picked up Kitty's doll. "Hoss said to let you take Jemmy to bed with you." Joe handed the doll to Kitty who clasped the doll against her with her free arm. Joe bent down and picked up the toy bear and placed it next to Hoss. "The other toys will keep him company, but I think he said Jemmy told him she missed you. I think she's lonely for you."

Kitty dropped her head against Adam's shoulder and smiled. "I think so too." Then Joe kissed Kitty goodnight and Adam took her back to her bed. But even then, Kitty wanted to talk. She chattered on about the pie Hop Sing had made and how she had made one for Hoss too. And then she talked about the checker piece towers she had created and how Hop Sing had sung her a Chinese song. It was about a loyal ox. "It's a cow like Dotsie only it's got long horns that go like this!" Kitty put up her arms as wide as she could.

"Kitty, you need to go to sleep now. It's going to be a busy day tomorrow. Now, you need to close your eyes and think of nice things." Adam was going to leave but he had come to recognize the look on his daughter's face; she needed to talk about something. "Is something troubling you?"

She nodded her head. "Unca Joe says Unca Hoss isn't going to die."

"That's right. He's going to be fine."

"He got his head hurted."

"That's right. But the doctor took care of him and he's going to be fine."

"Pa, come 'ere." Kitty motioned for Adam to lean down. "I wanna whisper somethin'."

Adam bent down, turning an ear toward Kitty.

"I'm sorry I hitted you yesterday," she whispered. "And, Pa, don't die."

Adam was overwhelmed. He scooped Kitty up and held her next to him, burying his face in her soft hair as she put her small, round arms about his neck. He had thought he knew what love was. After all, he had read poetry and had identified with the emotions so aptly described in the lilting lines. He loved his father, his brothers and over the years, a few women. And he had loved Ava, whether she had been deserving of it or not. But never before had he been so overwhelmed with a sense of helpless love as now, when he held his daughter in his arms. Adam knew that he would endure any privation, any suffering, any pain for his daughter. He would willingly lie down and die for her sake.

This was love.


	13. Chapter 13

**13….Two down**

Adam pushed open the door to Hoss' room and saw his father sitting in the corner chair, where Joe had earlier sat. Ben smiled wanly at Adam.

"Any problems with Kitty?" Ben asked.

"No, not really. I sang her a song and she settled down then but I waited until she was asleep." He looked at Hoss lying in the bed, the sheets pulled up over his bare chest, his boots, tops folded over, in another corner. "So, what was Paul's prognosis?"

"He wants Hoss to stay in bed for a few more days but also wants him to get up and walk a few feet and back—but not too soon. He suggested someone be with him, stand behind him when he does in case he gets dizzy or falls."

Adam chuckled. "If Hoss falls, whoever's behind him will go down too – and be crushed."

Ben managed a small smile. "As for the wound, it's more than a 'crease', but had Hoss been holding his head differently, looking more to his left, the bullet would've gone into his brain. We were lucky." Ben sighed deeply. There had been so many vigils with his three sons over the years, so many long nights that Ben waited to see if his boy took a turn for the worse.

Adam walked over to the window, pulled back the curtains and looked out. Only a low-lamp burned in the room so he could easily see the area outside, the section of grass before the encroaching woods stood in defiance. The seedlings were always destroyed before they took purchase and recovered the land they had lost to the Cartwrights years ago when they house was built. Then the house had been expanded, requiring more trees be felled.

"I think Turk wanted Hoss killed." Adam stared ahead into the night. It was easier to talk about such things if he and his father avoided eye contact.

"That thought occurred to me as well," Ben said, "but, I just don't know, Adam. Wouldn't you receive some sort of message? If this is all by Turk's orders then I'd think he'd be more obvious about it so you'd have no doubts."

Adam turned to his father. "I have no doubts. Hoss' shooting was the message." As he gazed out the window, Adam could see his slight refection in the glass as if a ghost of himself was looking back at him. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about all this. I knew that I should do the moral thing, the right thing, and I did. But because of my honest testimony, Jacob Mueller has some sort of justice for his son. But it hasn't brought his son back.

"Not only that, but three more people have died – and one of them was Ava. She died because I did my civic duty. What a pile of bullshit it all is. All of it."

"Adam, I've always felt that a man has to do the legal or moral thing. Fortunately, your testimony fulfills both of those categories."

"You're a man of the world, Pa, you've seen battles and wars and you've been out to sea. You've seen people in foreign lands ruthlessly murdered for their goods or lands. Here, you've seen Indians slaughtered and the Chinese work camps railroad companies set-up to exploit them. And I've seen people blown apart by cannonballs on the battlefield, men run bayonets through each other, doctors without adequate medicine having to chop off gangrenous arms and legs, and other sundry atrocities. So how would one more immoral act change the balance of the world, Pa? If I go in to the judge and say I lied, contrived details to make it seem as if Turk murdered Mueller in cold-blooded, what difference would it make?"

"It's wrong, Adam. You can't justify it, you can't reconcile lying just to prevent what Turk 'may" be ordering."

Adam stood in silence for a few heartbeats. "What if…something happens to Kitty because of me and my morality? What would you say then, Pa?" Adam looked at his father who had dropped his head in his hands.

Ben sat up back up. "I…this isn't the time for me to talk about such things, Adam. I don't want to have to think of anything but Hoss getting better. All I ask is that before you go to the judge, you sleep on it and then think about it even longer. Once you recant, that's it."

"All right, Pa. I'll think on it some more." Adam moved to the door but he felt he had already decided. "Can I bring you anything? Coffee? Something to eat?"

"No. Thank you, Adam, but Hop Sing brought me a little dinner while you were in with Kitty. Make sure you eat something."

"I'll grab something after I recheck the doors and windows. G'night, Pa. Would you like me to spell you for a bit? I don't think I'll sleep much tonight."

"No, I'll probably doze a little, but I'll be alright. G'night, son"

Adam walked out and stepped into Kitty's room. He stood over her and looked down as she slept, fighting the desire to kiss her and possibly wake her. She had had a long day as well but his arms ached to hold her again and to kiss her soft cheek. Adam walked to the window and rechecked the sash to make certain the window was securely locked. The he drew the curtains and left the room. He stood in the hall, feeling unsure.

His father was in the next room sitting with Hoss, and surely would hear if anyone managed to get into Kitty's room. But what if he had dropped-off or Hoss' snoring had reached its usual cacophony? His father might not hear. And although his own room was almost across the hall from Kitty's, he might not hear anything as well. Adam strode into his room, pulled his pillow out from under the coverlet, scooped up the folded blanket at the foot of his bed and returned to Kitty's room. On the floor, he threw down his blanket and pillow, kneeled down and made a bedroll of sorts and pulling off his boots, made himself as comfortable as he could for the night ahead.

~ 0 ~

Hoss was awake when Adam took Kitty in to see her "Unca Hoss." Holding Kitty, Adam held onto her while she bent over to kiss his cheek as he partially pushed himself up on his elbows, but quickly fell back down on the pillow.

"That kiss is the best medicine I coulda got," Hoss said to Kitty, managing a smile. But Adam saw the dark hollows under Hoss' eyes and his sallow color.

"Your head better?" Kitty asked, touching the part of her head where Hoss had his bandage.

"Well, it aches a bit, sweetpea, but seein' you 's made me feel a lot better. I might be able to eat a stack of flapjacks 'bout high as you are tall."

Kitty laughed and Adam put her down, telling her to let Hop Sing know Uncle Hoss wanted flapjacks for breakfast, giving her a light swat to send her off. Then Adam turned to Hoss who had closed his eyes again.

"Okay, Hoss. How do you really feel?"

"Like I wish Doc Martin was comin' out sooner than this evenin'. My head feels like someone's poundin' a tattoo on it with a sledgehammer. I think I'll take another dose of laudanum purt soon. But, Adam," Hoss reached up and grabbed his arm, "don't let on to Pa. I don't want to worry him more'n he needs to be."

"Hoss, if you're feeling that bad, I'll go get Paul Martin now."

"No, not necessary. It's just that, well, things are a little blurry with my left eye. I heard what Paul told Pa 'bout my bein' lucky not to lose my eyesight and I guess I'm just a little worried 'bout it – that's all. Just wanna hear what he has to say."

"Hoss, I think Bill Turk sent someone to kill you."

Hoss lay with his eyes closed. "Well, then he shoulda sent a better marksman."

"Hoss, I'm serious."

"I know you are, Adam, but if that's what he's done, that's what he's done. We can't hide inside this house forever. Life's gotta go on. It ain't like we're gonna live forever anyway."

"And that's what I want - for everyone's life to go on. I told Pa last night that I'm going to recant my testimony. I can't live this way anymore."

"Adam, I ain't never known you to buckle under pressure like that."

"I never had so much to lose before."

Hoss opened his eyes and turned his head to meet Adam's gaze. "Adam, you gonna be able to live a lie? And how can you teach Kitty 'bout what's right and wrong iffen you go and take back the truth? What kind of parent can you be?" Hoss watched Adam's face.

"Hoss, you don't understand."

"I understand. I understand that cold fear that freezes a man's blood. You think after all we've been through, all the times we been scared shitless, you and me, that I don't know? I know you're afraid for Kitty but she deserves a father she can admire just like we had growin' up. You need to be the one steadfast thing in her life now that she ain't got no momma."

"Hoss…I…." Adam stopped. He had been ready to head to town to see Judge Hanley and say he had lied for single ownership of the mine. Then he'd have to wait and see if his family was free from threat. He'd be charged with perjury, that Adam knew. He'd probably be fined and have to do some jail time but at least he'd be sure his family was safe. Or would they be? Suddenly the solution to his problems didn't seem so cut and dried. If he buckled under, what more might he be asked to do? To say he knew about the hidden gold, the avoidance of taxes and tariffs, the whole contrived scam?

"I'll see what's keeping Hop Sing with those pancakes." Adam patted Hoss' shoulder.

Hoss closed his eyes again. "Make sure he melts butter over 'em and sends up a enough maple syrup."

After Adam left Hoss, he thought about what Hoss had said. Maybe his brother was right, that they were all under a death sentence, but if that was the way it was, that's the way it was; there was no guarantee of anything. But the thought of Kitty being hurt, that didn't set right with any of them. They'd have to send Kitty somewhere, somewhere safe where Turk's henchmen could never find her, never reach her.

"Pa," Kitty said, waving her fork, "We all got flapjacks!"

Adam grinned as he took his seat. He realized they hadn't yet resolved the issue of the chair and Kitty's height so she still kneeled on her chair for most of the meal. It was when she sat down that Adam knew she was through eating.

Ben and Joe smiled as well. Kitty's enthusiasm took the edge off the tension of Hoss' shooting.

Adam placed his napkin on his lap as Joe handed him the platter with the few flapjacks left. "Looks like you're getting more on your face than in your mouth," Adam said to Kitty.

Kitty grinned, her mouth and chin smeared with butter and syrup. Someone had already tied her napkin about her neck.

Adam put the remainder of the flapjacks on his plate and passed on the butter; the flapjacks were too cool to melt it but he drizzled syrup over them. Hop Sing walked by and up the stairs with a tray for Hoss.

"Hand me the coffee, would you?" Joe turned in his chair and grabbed the carafe, placing it by Adam. "I thought I'd work on the barn today. Hoss and Joe started readying it for paint but I think I'll finish it today, stick close by."

Ben put down his coffee. "Murphy came over from the sawmill this morning, wanted to know why Hoss hadn't gone by yesterday to check out the problem with the main saw. I told him Hoss was injured and promised him someone would be out first thing this morning. Right now, the sawmill's sitting idle. Joe said he'd go."

Adam looked first to Joe and then to his father. Then he reached out and helped Kitty with her glass of milk. "I don't think Joe should go alone."

"Neither do I," Ben said.

"Look, I can handle the sawmill just fine," Joe said. "God knows I've chopped enough firewood around here to give me an intimate relationship with the stuff. Besides, if someone is…" Joe looked at Kitty who had finished eating although half her portion was still on her plate. He didn't want to say anything to upset her. "If we need a new sawblade, well, I'll go to Carson City and order one. I know what to do."

"I'm not worried about that," Ben said. "It's the 'traveling' that concerns me." Ben looked under his brows at Adam.

"Kitty, are you finished eating?"

"Uh-huh. Pa," Kitty said, "can I be 'scused?"

Adam was secretly pleased. He had struggled long and hard almost every meal to emphasize that she should ask to be excused from the table. To emphasize it, he and Joe and Hoss had taken to asking their father to be excused from the table as well, albeit it with a slight tone of sarcasm.

Adam gave his permission, but first wiped Kitty's face and hands, dipping his napkin in his glass of water. Even then, her hands still felt slightly sticky. Kitty wriggled under his ministrations, complaining she was fine. Then Adam sent her upstairs to sit with Hoss and Hop Sing who was more than likely supervising Hoss as he ate. Joe joked that Hop Sing was probably forcing every single morsel down Hoss' throat and washing it down with that whole pitcher of milk.

Then the conversation turned back to the sawmill.

"Okay," Adam said, "I'll go check out the blade and Joe can start on the barn. Just keep your rifle handy, okay, Joe?"

"Now wait a minute here." Joe said. "I need to learn the business. Isn't that what you're always telling me, Adam? And you too, Pa. Both of you are always saying I need more experience in both the mines and the sawmill. So, let me get some."

"If you're killed on the way," Adam stated, "you'll get no experience except as a corpse."

"Nothing's going to happen to me," Joe said.

"Spoken like the young and dumb," Adam said quietly.

"Pa, Cochise is fast, I'm fast with a gun and I'll stay in the trees all the way. Hoss was out in the open and anyone could've been hiding in those hills just waiting or even tracking him. I'll just avoid that area – take the long way around."

"Okay, little brother - if you want to go, okay, but I'm going too."

"Now look, Adam," Joe argued. "Suppose someone is waiting to pick us off. Just suppose. Who has more to lose? Kitty would be without a father. You just stay here and paint the barn."

"Stop!" Ben said, standing up. Both Joe and Adam fell silent. "Do you think I want to risk either of you?" Ben sat back down. "I'm sorry. It's just that…" He looked at his two sons who sat in silence. "I think I should go. If there is someone, a sniper waiting for one of us, any of us, let it be me he gets."

Adam understood his father's position. How can any father risk any of his children? Now that Kitty was the center of Adam's world, he well understood. But he wouldn't allow it.

"No, you won't, Pa. Joe and I are going. We'll, stay within the tree line and keep a watch out for anyone or anything suspicious. If the saw is irreparable, well, the men will get a few days off and Silas Barrow will have to wait a bit longer for the shipment of boards. That's just the way it is." Adam tossed his napkin down and stood up. "Joe, mind saddling up the horses while I say goodbye to Kitty?" He almost added, "since it may be the last time she sees me alive", but didn't.

"Sure thing, Adam." Joe shoved back his chair and started out the door. Then he stepped back in and strapped on his gun belt. He winked at Adam who still stood at the end of the table, and headed out to the barn.

"Adam," Ben said, "I wish you wouldn't insist on the two of you going. Of all of us, I'm the most expendable. I've lived the longest and you have a daughter to raise. Please rethink this!"

"My mind is made up." Adam started off to kiss Kitty goodbye and tell her he would be gone for a while, but he stopped and turned back. "What in hell makes you think you're expendable, Pa? Just because you're our father? What have years to do with anything? I don't think any of us could get along without you, even when the time comes, it won't be easy…Pa, Joe and I will get back fine. Try not to worry." But Adam couldn't look away from his father's face, his look of despair.

It had been years since he and his father had done anything but throw an arm about one another's shoulders or place a comforting hand on another's back but somehow, loving Kitty had changed Adam, made him more empathetic to his father's position, caused him to love his father more. Adam approached his father who knew not what to expect. But when Adam raised his arms and drew his father to him, Adam felt his father return the hug; his father held onto him. They stood that way, embracing for a few heartbeats and then Adam broke away and took to the stairs, while Ben held onto the edge of the table to support him until he sat heavily back down, tears brimming in his dark eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

**I want to thank anyone who is kind enough to be reading. I am determined to finish this story in only one more chapter so this in the penultimate one.**

 **14….Hide and Seek Redux**

It was late morning. Joe and Adam had already been at the sawmill for a few hours, Adam, chastising himself for not keeping up with things; simple maintenance would have kept production from coming to a stop.

When the brothers had ridden up, the workers had been idling about the building, smoking and bullshitting one another with stories about winning in poker and in a whore's bed, but Adam put a stop to it. The millworkers, like the ranch hands, only had to work until noon Saturdays. Adam put them back to work bagging up sawdust and shavings.

"You're not being paid to piss around out here. There's work to be done. Sack up the sawdust and shavings to be delivered." Many saloons bought the cheap sacks of sawdust to spread on their floors; it absorbed tobacco juice spat by drunk cowboys who either missed the spittoons or just didn't care. At the end of the workday, the sawdust could be swept up and pushed into the street and new sawdust spread. It was a good way not to waste anything.

The livery stable also used the sawdust and shavings as well as many ranchers, like the Cartwrights themselves, to line the stall floors for the same reason; it absorbed horse urine and made the stalls easier to muck, and before it was tainted by manure, the wood shavings gave off a sweet odor.

"You didn't have to jump down their throats, Adam," Joe had said quietly. He had empathy for the men since he himself had often been on the receiving end of Adam's barked-out commands. A man resented being ordered about like that. "You're not a Union captain anymore."

"We're paying them and there's work to be done. It's a good three hours until their quitting time." But Adam's mood hadn't improved as the morning stretched on. He examined the main saw. A few of the teeth had broken and it had caused raw cuts and boards, splintered on the edges. Adam had tried to rig another blade to do the job but he had failed.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me about this earlier?" Adam demanded of Murphy, the foreman. The blade had to be replaced and the thought of riding to Carson City to order one made Adam edgy.

"I did. I rode to the Ponderosa three days in a row. I had men standing around with their fingers up their asses, wasting time with nothing to do. Hoss was s'posed to come out yesterday but he never arrived so I had to ride out again this morning."

It was too much for Adam and he exploded. "You're in charge here at the goddamn mill – you, and no one else! You should have…." Adam stopped. He knew he was behaving like a madman so he took a deep breath before he gave Murphy orders. Adam glanced at Joe who was running the toe of one boot in the sawdust and dirt mix, obviously embarrassed for Adam.

Adam apologized for his temper and said what he wanted done. Once the sawdust was bagged, the men were to deliver to the usual customers. Murphy was to keep the tab for each customer – and make certain it was accurate; they would be billed later. Then Adam and Joe rode on to Carson City. His mood did not improve when the owner of the warehouse, Milt Danvers, whom Adam had to track down at the Redeye Saloon, said there were no saws of that size in stock and it would take over a week for one to arrive from Missouri.

"You mean to tell me there's no warehouse closer than Missouri?" Adam was furious. He stood, arms akimbo, staring down the warehouse owner who was enjoying a beer and the half-hearted attentions of a dumpy barmaid named Della. Other than them, the place was practically empty.

"Look, Cartwright," Danvers said, "It's after noonday and I'm closed. Didn't have a customer all morning. You shoulda been here sooner."

Adam reached out as Della jumped off the chair arm. Adam grabbed Danvers by the shirtfront and jerked him up out of his seat.

"Well, I'm here now and I want to order a sawblade."

Danvers put out both hands imploringly, "But, I don't have one in stock that size and my supplier ships out of Kansas City, Missouri. And there ain't one closer 'less you wanna take your chances and ride to Wyomin'. I hear there's a big sawmill up 'round Casper that keeps extra sawblades on the property. You might be able to buy one off them but iffen I were you, I'd consider orderin' an extra one now—two of 'em. It's ain't like you're gonna run outta trees to cut."

As angry as Adam was, he saw the logic in what Danvers said and was a little surprised he'd never considered it before. He released Danvers who shook with relief. Adam demanded Danvers reopen his office and Danvers readily agreed. The Cartwrights were too valuable to lose as customers and he didn't want to deal with an upset Adam Cartwright. Adam placed an order for two blades and told Danvers the blades had better get there in a week if Danvers himself had to fetch them. He'd be back next Saturday with his buckboard and the blades had better be there and ready to load. Joe had simply stood in the background and watched the whole transaction.

"We need to hurry," Adam said, pulling out his watch. "It's past 2:00. I want to be home by dinner. I don't want Pa to worry."

The brothers checked their horses' cinches; it had been a long ride. They mounted up and turned their horses toward the Ponderosa. They rode along at an easy canter as they were out in the open.

"Adam, you promised Pa we'd stay in the tree line."

"We did – all the way to the mill and most of the way to Carson City but I want to take the short cut home."

Joe was uneasy but not as uneasy as Adam who felt that at any moment, he'd hear the crack of a rifle and then the sickening thud of a shell being slammed into his body – or his head. So, with his skin crawling, he kicked his horse a little faster. Joe kicked his horse and as he rode alongside his brother, he called out, "You going to keep this pace all the way home?"

"A moving target's supposed to be harder to hit. I guess we'll find out." Adam grinned at Joe who smiled back, but they were both on edge as they rode home.

~ 0 ~

The house was lit even though it wasn't yet dark, but it was warm and welcoming. Joe and Adam rode up and dismounted.

"Joe, would you mind taking the horses to their stalls, I want to say hello to Kitty and then I'll put my horse away."

"Okay but you curry him." Joe said taking the other horse's reins. "And ask Hop Sing what's for dinner." Joe wrinkled his nose. "Smells like we're having burned coffee."

Adam sniffed the air. "Yeah, it does." Adam stopped. "Leave the horses."

"What? You think…." Joe suddenly knew what Adam was thinking; Hop Sing wouldn't allow coffee to boil over or stay on the heat too long - if he could help it. The two rushed inside the house, crouching, their guns in their hands, prepared to meet anything or anyone. The burned coffee smell struck them as stronger and the only sound was the searing of the coffee as it boiled over.

"Check the kitchen," Adam whispered to Joe. Joe nodded.

Adam approached the stairway but Joe called for him. His heart pounding in his ears, Adam glanced once more up the stairs but went to the kitchen. Hop Sing lay on his kitchen floor, his hat near him and blood on the back of his head.

"Is he…?"

"No," Joe said. "I feel a pulse but he's been hurt bad. He needs Doc Martin."

"He'll have to wait a bit longer," Adam said indicating Hop Sing with his gun. "You take the perimeter of the house. I'm checking upstairs." Joe nodded." And, Joe, be careful."

"Like always, Brother, like always." Joe smiled and slipped out the kitchen door.

The urge to call out to Kitty was difficult for Adam to control. But if someone dangerous was upstairs, Adam didn't want to remove the element of surprise. He considered all the possible scenes upstairs. Had Hoss been shot dead in the bed, his father slumped over in the chair, having been also shot? And was Kitty gone? Had she been taken or worse-hanged somewhere as Turk was bound to be any day now. Was that the message that awaited him?

The hallway was quiet. Adam slid along the wall, and glanced into each bedroom until he came to Kitty's. He pivoted, his gun pointed ahead but saw no one. The room was still, the window open and the early evening breeze floating the dimity curtains. Adam didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad one. Stealthily, he went into Hoss' room. Hoss still lay on the bed but in an awkward position, half on his side, one foot sticking out from under the coverlet, one arm hanging off the side, his eyes closed, but Adam could see the rise and fall of his chest; Hoss was alive and looked not to be injured further. But no one else was in the room.

"Hoss…Hoss," Adam said, shaking Hoss' shoulder.

Hoss opened his eyes, for just a moment and then closed them again as he rolled on his back. "Adam," he managed. "I…two men…I tried to stop 'em, but…too much laudanum."

"Hoss, where's Pa and Kitty?" Adam shook Hoss harder and practically shouted, "Wake up, damn you! Where's Pa and Kitty?"

"Pa?" Adam listened and then heard scrambling from under Hoss' bed. Kitty stuck her head out from underneath the frame and when she saw Adam, she wriggled out from under the bed.

"Oh, Kitty!" Adam picked her up and held her to him; Kitty was safe. Adam stroked her hair as she wrapped her arms about his neck.

"Grampa told me to run upstairs and hide where no one could find me. Said it was a special game of hide'n seek and I was a special hider and not to come out if anyone called me, not even him. He made me promise not to come out at all. It was okay I came out for you, right, Pa?"

"Yes, that was the right thing to do." Adam kissed her cheek and then wiped her tears away; he noticed his hand was shaking.

"Pa, I been scared! Some men, mean men broke the house. I heared them being mean to Grampa. Where's Grampa?"

Joe came to the doorway and when he saw that Adam held Kitty, he quickly holstered his gun so she wouldn't see.

"Area's clear but the back door's been busted. I saw some hoof tracks, bootheels. Looks to be three horses left but two rode up. And Blackjack is gone from the barn. Where's Pa?"

"See if you can get something more from Hoss about Pa. Seems he can't stay awake long enough to answer."

"Hoss," Joe said, shaking the large shoulder. "Hoss, what happened to Pa? Hoss, wake up?"

Hoss barely opened his eyes. "Pa was sittin' here. Noise from downstairs, broke in…and…I don't know. Where's Kitty?"

"I'm here, Unca Hoss!" Kitty chimed in.

Hoss nodded, smiled, and then fell back into his drugged sleep.

"Leave him be," Adam said. "Let's go downstairs. I have to think."

Adam, still holding Kitty, and Joe went down the stairs but Joe kept his hand on his gun. He wasn't taking any chances. Once they reached the bottom floor, Adam handed Kitty off to Joe. "Kitty, you stay here with Joe for a minute."

"But, Pa…I wanna go with you!"

"Not now. Stay with your Uncle Joe."

"Yeah, c'mon, Kitty." Joe bounced her in his arms. "I bet you haven't seen Jemmy in a while, have you?" Kitty shook her head. "Let's go see her. I bet she wants a hug from you."

Kitty smiled. "Yeah. She might be scared and need a hug."

Adam went into the kitchen and Hop Sing was sitting up on the floor, supporting himself with one arm. He was looking at his other hand. It was bloody from where he had touched his head.

"Mistah Adam, Missy Kitty…"

"Let me help you up," Adam said, "Kitty's fine." Adam bent down, helping Hop Sing sit at the small kitchen table. He pulled a dishtowel off the counter and soaked it under the pump, wrung it out and then placed it on the back of Hop Sing's head. Hop Sing reached up and held it. Adam sat down next to him.

"Missy Kitty - men wanted Missy Kitty," Hop Sing said.

"They didn't get her; she's all right. Joe has her. Can you tell me what happen…?" Adam stopped because Hop Sing, still wobbly, stood up. "What is it?"

"Coffee burn on stove. Make big mess, big stink. Hard to clean."

Adam rolled his eyes and sighed. "Sit down. I'll take care of it." Adam pulled the coffee pot off the stove and sat it in the sink. Then he leaned over Hop Sing. "Can you tell me what happened?" So, while Hop Sing gingerly wiped the blood off the back of his head, he related events.

"Hop Sing put on coffee. Start dinner. "

Adam looked around. A chicken was half-plucked and unwashed carrots, an onion and pole beans in a bowl sat on the counter. By the chicken was a paring knife and a meat cleaver was on the floor.

"Hear noise – sound like wood breaking - not too loud. Then boots on floor. I go out – look. Two men - one with gun. Him not see Hop Sing. I go get knife—cleaver. Hop Sing plan to…" He moved one finger across his throat. "But hit on head. Not know what happen then."

Adam wondered why Hop Sing hadn't been shot. But then decided that since the men were more than likely hoping for the element of surprise, a gunshot would alert anyone else in the house, Therefore, it was prudent to knock out the Chinese man. If they had tried to slit his throat, well, he was no middle-aged female housekeeper easily subdued; Hop Sing, more than likely, would have made more noise, put up a fight, and it would have been heard.

"We'll have to get you a doctor, but do you know where Pa is?"

"No. Do not know about Mistah Cartwright. And Hop Sing not need doctor. If Mistah Ben missing, you go find him."

Joe entered the kitchen. "You all right, Hop Sing?"

"Yes. How Mistah Hoss? He not hurt?"

"No. Hoss is fine. Adam, Hoss said that Pa went down the stairs when he heard a noise. He can't quite get it clear but Hoss said that a man came upstairs looking for Kitty, kept calling out for her. Hoss said he wanted to get out of bed - tried but couldn't make it. Anyway, he didn't know Kitty had scooted under his bed but apparently, she had, and that's where she stayed until you found her. That's all he knows."

"Listen to me, Joe, and don't argue. You stay here with Kitty and Hop Sing. He says he doesn't need a doctor but even if he did, well, it'd have to wait anyway. I'm going to find Pa."

"Adam, we should get Sheriff Coffee. He can gather up a posse and…"

"And what?"

"I don't know. I just…let me go with you."

"No, this is between me and Turk's men. Besides they want me to find them. It's not yet dark and with all the tracks they left, I could probably track them in the dead of night just as easily. You stay here with Kitty, Hoss and Hop Sing. And don't leave."

"Adam, I think I should go with you and…" But Joe knew that Adam had already made up his mind. "Okay. I'll stay here."

"And barricade yourselves in." Adam looked around the kitchen once more and headed for the front door but turned. "Joe, if I don't come back, if neither Pa or I come back, swear you'll raise Kitty."

"Adam, don't talk like that. It's bad luck."

Adam smirked. "And we've had good luck up to now?"

Joe gave a half-grin. "I promise, Adam. I promise."

~ 0 ~

Adam found the trail easy to follow. After putting some space between them and the ranch house, the three men had brought their horse to a walk, pushing their way through the trees, breaking branches. Night was just falling with its quickness when Adam heard the voices of two men, talking and laughing.

A horse nickered and Adam's horse responded. But it didn't matter, Adam decided. _They want me to find them_. Adam dismounted and led his horse into the opening where a fire burned, casting its reddish light on the faces. His father, hatless, sat against a tree to which he had been bound. The evening chill was falling along with the ensuing darkness.

All eyes turned to him but no one said anything. Adam broke the silence. "You okay, Pa?"

Ben nodded and Adam noticed the huge bruise on the left side of his father's face. _Well, the old man didn't go easily._

"Have trouble tracking us?" One of the men wore a suit including a cravat. A bowler balanced on his head. Adam recognized him as the man who sat directly behind Turk during the trial and something else, something more familiar. Something about the eyes.

"No. No trouble. You left enough clues for a goddamn blind man to find."

The man chuckled. He was sipping from a whiskey flask. Adam recognized the other man who was leaning against a tree, his rifle now held loosely in his arm. He was the cowboy in the courthouse, the one Joe said had come to see him that night which now, to Adam, seemed years ago.

"Thought we'd hold a little parley here instead of in your front room." The man swept one arm in a low arc. "Welcome to my parlor, Adam. Please, sit down. Join us, but first, I have one small request – hand over your gun and step away from the rifle in its scabbard."

The cowboy stood upright then and held his rifle aimed at Adam. Adam dropped his hose's reins and took two more steps into the light and slowly removed his gun with two fingers making it obvious he had no inclination to shoot, bent down and placed it on the ground.

"You certainly are obliging. Now, one last thing and we'll talk - give that gun a little shove over here, if you wouldn't mind."

Adam gave the gun a push with one boot and then the cowboy picked it up and tucked it in his waistband, stepping back with a wide grin. Adam crossed his arms high on his chest.

"I'm just guessing here, but your name's Ralston, right?"

"Bill said you were clever. Yes. I'm Ralston Turk, Bills baby brother" He grinned widely. "My brother taught me everything I know but I think that when it comes to being just shit-mean, I could teach him a thing or two. But I tell you, Adam, I underestimated you. I went to your house to find your little daughter. I'd have so much more leverage with her than with your Pa here, I mean an old man's an old man but a sweet, young child…oh, the fun I could have had with you if I only had her. I could dangle her in front of you by one leg. Oh, to hear her cry for her daddy…what sweet music to my ears."

Adam fought to keep himself under control.

"But your old man here, he said that jackshit little brother of yours took your daughter to visit her dead mother's grave in Carson City. Not that I believed him. I thought for sure he was lying so we called out for her, even told him to call out for her and you know what? He wouldn't. That made me suspicious – and mad. When people don't do what I say, well, that brings out the worst in me. So, unfortunately, Winch here had to hit your pa, punch him in the ribs and kidneys a few times. Winch hates to hit old men - they break so easy they take the fun out of it for him. Finally, the old man here caved-in and called for your daughter but nothing happened. And searching, all we found was just that tub of lard upstairs. I thought Winch had killed him the other day. Apparently not, so Winch here, has to redeem himself. He wanted to shoot that big ol' boy right then and there but I considered that if anyone was nearby, they'd hear a shot and I didn't have time to kill anyone who may be in the bunkhouse. That's one lucky boy."

"Cut the shit," Adam said. "What do you want?"

Ralston narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, Cartwright?"

"Honestly? For Winch there to put a bullet in your brain and then swallow the next bullet himself. But I guess that's asking too much."

"You are a funny man," Ralston said, with a small chuckle.

"Let me guess what you want? You want me to retract my testimony against Bill."

"Funny and smart. Yes, that's what I want. You see, Bill's trial is coming to a close—might even go to the jury tomorrow and although those yokels sitting in judgement on him don't understand any of the evidence, they'll convict him on all counts, I'm sure. Actually, I think the fact they don't understand will be the reason they do convict. So, as you can see, we're in a bit of a hurry. If I didn't need your pappy here as a bargaining chip, I'd let Winch blow his brains out right before your eyes. Or maybe we should hang him – let you feel what it's like to see a family member in their death throes."

"You let my father go and I'll do as you ask."

"Adam don't," Ben said.

"Shut up, old man," Ralston ordered. But Ben continued.

"Adam, I'm old – I've had a full life. Don't recant…." The sound of a gun hammer being cocked stopped him. Ralston held a 4 1/2 inch-barrel revolver.

Adam shifted his feet and uncrossed his arms.

"Ralston leaned forward. "You say another word, old man, and I'll shoot you right between the eyes." He turned to Adam. "You know, Adam, all of this could have been avoided if you had taken the hint."

"What hint?"

Ralston chuckled and shook his head. "When we killed your wife, the beautiful Ava Silverglade, I thought that was an obvious hint. You know, I even heard her sing once, saw her perform and she was some beauty. Who'd think she would have married a cowboy like you - even if it was for only a short time? You may be college-educated but you still stink like any other cowboy. But that's water under the bridge, isn't it? Now, Winch here is going with you to town. You're going to tell Judge Hanley that he's one of your ranch hands and gone along for protection, for an extra set of eyes since your brother's been shot and you don't know by who. And then you're going to tell the judge you lied in court. You want to give a whole new statement to the court – say that the big, dumb German said he was gonna break Bill's neck with his bare hands, said he didn't need a gun, his hands were enough. Understand?"

"Yes," Adam said quietly. "And after I do, what about my father?"

"Well, that's up to your father. If he behaves himself and sits like a good boy, not causing any trouble, he'll be here - and alive – when you return. And Cartwright, I'm not a patient man, and you have tried me over the past few days. You see, you're never where I expect and I don't like being surprised. So, let me clarify one more time. You go straight to Judge Hanley's home, tell him the 'truth' and then skedaddle back here post haste. I don't like sitting here in the dark with only your daddy for company – silent company at that. But I could make sure he remains silent for all time. You remember that, Cartwright."

Adam said nothing else, just nodded. He mounted his horse and once up on its back, Winch mounted while Ralston held his gun on Ben. But before riding away, Adam met his father's eyes. He kept that image in his mind as he rode to town with Winch by his side.


	15. Chapter 15

**15….Tables Are Turned**

"Adam, this is a surprise, especially since it's almost 10:00." Judge Hanley, in his dressing robe, stood at the open door. His hair was mussed from sleeping and he was obviously peeved at the late guests.

"I know it's late, Judge, but I need to see you. It is important. It'll save a man's life."

"Well, Adam, I…" Judge Hanley craned his neck to look at the man behind Adam.

"This is Winch," Adam said, motioning to the man. Judge Hanley nodded and Winch tipped his hat. "I suppose you heard Hoss has been shot so Winch came with me….as an additional gun."

Judge Hanley looked Adam over and noticed the empty holster at his hip. "Well, come in then if it's that important." The Judge stepped aside, allowing Adam and Winch to pass by him and wait. The judge led them into the parlor and then, seeing his wife on the stairs in her cap and robe, one hand clasping the neck shut, he said, "Go back to bed, Lolly. It's only Adam Cartwright."

Adam was going to tip his hat before he removed it, but Lolly Hanley had already disappeared from view.

"Now sit and tell me what it is." Hanley looked at Winch again. "If it's private," the judge said to Adam, "you and I can go into my office here."

Adam glanced at Winch who still sat with his hat squarely on his head and hadn't yet spoken a word. "No, it's not private. By tomorrow evening, I'm sure it'll be on the front page of the late edition of the _Territorial Enterprise_ and everyone will know." Adam paused, considered the weight of what he was going to say and then spoke. "I want to recant my testimony in the murder trial of Bill Turk. I lied."

"What, Adam?" The judge was dumbfounded. "You saying it was all a lie?"

"Yes. Ernst Mueller had told me he wanted to kill Turk with his bare hands because Turk had cheated him. He said he didn't need a gun, that he would break Turk's neck with his bare hands. I believed him. You know how strong Ernst was. But I didn't go with him or try to stop him from seeing Turk because I was hoping they'd kill each other…" Adam stopped to breathe. He hadn't realized how telling this lie would affect so many people. Lying had never come easy to Adam but this lie was a necessity. He could picture his father bound to the tree and it broke his heart. His father shouldn't have to suffer for his son's sins. And Kitty. Adam could still feel her small arms about his neck, her cheek next to his, her sweet voice in his ear. For them, for their sake, he would lie willingly, so he gathered himself.

"I wanted Turk and Mueller to kill each other so I could have sole ownership of the mine. I knew gold was being found and I connived a way to get it for myself and egged Mueller on." That was it, Adam decided. That was an adequate lie, a credible lie and it would serve to free Turk's neck from the hangman's noose. Hopefully, it would free his father as well.

Judge Hanley stood up, obviously shaken. "Well, Adam. I am….surprised, to say the least, and I'll have to take your statement in writing tomorrow. I want you at my office at 9:00 in the morning. You'll also face a perjury charge, but I guess you know that. Your 'lie' almost cost a man his life."

"Yes, I know," Adam said. He rose from his chair. "I'll be in your office tomorrow at 9:00."

"I suggest you bring Hiram Wood with you to the meeting."

"It's not necessary. I have no defense." Adam put his hat on and he and Winch left the house.

The judge stood alone in his own parlor. He was puzzled. He didn't know Adam Cartwright well but the man had a reputation as an honest and clever businessman. Not many believed any calumny a disgruntled or envious person bandied about in an effort to discredit Adam or any of his family. Yet tonight, Adam Cartwright had come all the way into town late at night to say he had lied. Lied at the trial and had done so in order to be the last of the triumvirate to remain standing and to reap in all the financial benefits. Yes, any man might very well be tempted to do such a thing and many men might just do it – but not Adam Cartwright.

~ 0 ~

Adam and Winch rode in silence, Winch behind. Adam considered that Winch probably wasn't familiar with this area, especially in the dark. This was the Ponderosa and Adam always felt he could navigate the territory blind-folded. When he was young, he and his father would take off and check on their property and eventually, as more and more acreage was added, it would take them a week to reach the farthest corners of the Ponderosa.

Adam wondered if he could suddenly kick his horse and take off into the dark forest of pines before Winch could draw his gun and shoot him in the back. Or shoot his horse out from under him. If Winch succeeded, after finding Turks' camp, Adam knew he would shoot his father or hang him and leave him for the crows. The prospect was intimidating.

Adam resigned himself to placidly riding back to Turk's camp and taking his father home with him. If he would be allowed to do so. Maybe now that he had retracted his testimony, recanted all he had said, he would be killed. To Adam, it would make sense to do just that. After all, Adam decided, were he Turk, as soon as Winch confirmed Adam's conversation with the judge, he would shoot Winch in the head and then shoot Adam and last, kill Ben Cartwright. Kill all the witnesses—that is, Adam thought, if his father was even still alive.

That was the way a murderer thought - or a desperate man, Adam considered. He looked up at the night sky. It might be the very last time he saw the stars and the moon ruling the sky. Vaguely, in the distance, he could make out the tops of the mountain range as they rose like giants. He would be sad, indeed, to leave the world, to give up the sensual side of living –eating, drinking and making love to a woman. Or holding his daughter in his arms. Adam considered that he had faced death before and although he had never welcomed it, he had finally arrived at the point where his bowels didn't turn to water when he faced the possibility, but had come to think that if it was his time to go, he would fight to the end; after all, what would he have to lose? But now he had a lot to lose.

So, Adam plotted. When Winch dismounted, if he had the chance, Adam decided he would try to maneuver behind Winch and take his gun. If not that, at least grab it in the holster and point it toward Ralston Turk and fie. They were all going to die anyway, but there was a chance he could save his father - just a mere flicker of a chance, but a chance worth taking.

As Adam and Winch approached the dim light within the dark circle of trees, they heard nothing. The closer they came to the small area, Adam could see that the fire had almost died down but he could see a body, his father still tied to the tree – and the head was upright, not slumped over in death. Adam dismounted and so did Winch.

"Pa, are you…" Adam stopped. Although the fire was almost out, Adam could see it wasn't his father tied to the tree, it was Ralston Turk. And he was gagged with a bandana. Adam turned and blocked Winch's view of the prisoner.

"Turk? Where the hell are you? Taking a piss?" Winch called out. He held his gun drawn, nervous. He looked around, listened but there was no sound except a slight muffled voice from the body tied to the tree. "What the hell?" Winch started to shove Adam aside when another voice came from the surrounding darkness.

"Drop the gun or I'll drop you."

Adam smiled to himself, wanting to collapse in relief. It was unmistakably Joe's voice. And then came a deep stentorian voice.

"You'd better do as he says or I'll have to shoot you as well. You'll be getting it from both sides."

Winch froze and Adam walked over and took the gun from Winch, saying, "Allow me." Then he stepped back and both his youngest brother and father walked into the dim light.

"Glad to see you're fine, Pa. Have to admit I was a bit worried."

"I have to admit, I was too," Ben said, grinning. "Joe, hand me that rope." Joe tossed his father a coiled rope that was on the ground by him and Ben proceeded to bind Winch's hands behind his back.

Joe grinned at Adam, expecting his brother to thank him. Joe was looking forward to relating the tale of his derring-do at the dinner table and to the next girl he squired about. He'd also have the pleasure of retelling it at the poker table and just about anywhere else anyone would listen.

"I told you to stay at the house with Kitty, Hop Sing and Hoss. You just can't do what you're told, can you?"

"What? Wait a minute! Hoss is awake, alert, and Hop Sing and Kitty are spending the time in the bedroom with Hoss, the cookie jar, a pitcher of cold milk, a loaded shotgun under the coverlet and two .45's. Hop Sing barred the front door. Nothing's gonna happen to them."

"You don't know that. Damn it all, Joe! I told you to stay with them. When are you going to listen?"

"When are you going to say 'thank you'? I pulled your chestnuts outta the fire! I snuck up on him and saved Pa and pulled the switch. I saved your sorry ass, Adam, but I'm beginning to regret it."

"You'll regret it more if anything's happened to Kitty." Adam roughly helped Winch up into his saddle for the ride into town.

"Yeah? Well, you know what, Adam…" Joe was practically sputtering, he was so angry. "You can kiss my ass! And f-k you and the horse you rode in on!"

Adam only turned and glowered at Joe. Then he scooped up the .45 and slid it in his holster. He'd sort the arms out later, taking back his own six-shooter, but he did take his rifle back from his father and slide it into its scabbard. Winch and Ralston Turk would be taken into Virginia City and turned over to Sheriff Coffee. And Bill Turk would be hanged for murdering Ernst Mueller. And hopefully, Ralston Turk and Winch would hang for the murders in San Francisco. But nothing, Adam knew, would fill the hollow in his soul from the loss of Ava.

~ 0 ~

Roy Coffee met them on the road into town. "I was headin' out to the Ponderosa. Judge Hanley came banging on my door, woke me up. Said turnabout's fair play since you woke him up, Adam. He was worried, said you confessed to lying on the stand but he felt it wasn't…how'd he put it? That you'd done so under duress. Noticed you had an empty holster."

"Guess he's not the doddering old man I thought he was," Adam said.

"Glad to see you, Roy," Ben said. "Can you take these two into town? This is…"

"I can speak for myself. You remember me, don't you, Sheriff?"

"Sure do. You're Bill Turk's brother. You visited him in the jail a few times."

"Yes, and this is a friend of mine, Sam Winch. Seems these Cartwrights fell upon us and…"

"Just save it for the judge," Roy said. "Now who's gonna come with me to take in these two?"

Joe, who had been following, rode his horse around the group. "I'll go with you, Roy. Can't get far enough away from a certain brother."

Roy slightly smiled. "Okay, just as long as someone comes along. And I'll need statements from you two tomorrow. Early." Roy stepped his horse off the road and motioned with his drawn gun to Turk and Winch "You two, head out. Joe, take the lead, would you? Let's go."

~ 0 ~

Kitty was finally asleep and Hop Sing had turned in; his head was bad he said. Hoss had taken a light dose of laudanum and was also asleep. And Adam sat staring into the fire. Ben came down the stairs in his nightclothes.

"Aren't you coming to bed?"

Adam looked up at his father, noticing again the dark bruise on one side of his father's face. "No. I think I'll wait up for Joe."

"Oh? He might be late. Might even stay in town the night." Ben sat on the settee. "Why don't you go to bed. I won't be able to sleep until he's home anyway."

"Pa, let me do the worrying tonight. You go to bed. I have a few things I need to say to Joe and I want to get it over."

"I hope one of those things is that you're sorry for what you said."

Adam sheepishly smiled. "Yes, it is. But if something had happened to Kitty because Joe wanted to play Sir Lancelot…"

"Don't undersell Joe. It wasn't an impulsive act. And nothing did happen and Joe made certain they were all safe here before he left them. I think he saved both our lives. Maybe, if Turk had been successful, things would have been much different. I don't even want to think about how horrible things might have been. If Turk and Winch couldn't have gotten into the house, well…"

"Don't say it, Pa. I know what you're thinking." Adam looked at the fire again. How easy it would have been to set the house on fire, to burn all who were locked in the house after having killed Ben and Adam.

Ben stood up; he was still a bit wobbly and Adam started to get out of the chair. Ben put out his hand. "I'm fine, Adam. Just a little unsteady after being tied up to a tree like that. Now if you're going to wait up for Joe, I think I'll go to bed after all."

"Good. Oh, just to let you know, tomorrow afternoon, I thought I'd take Kitty on a picnic. You know, let her run around outside after the past few days in the house."

"Do you plan to tell her about her mother?"

"I think I'll wait until she's a little more secure here. I know I've always said that the truth should be told to children and I still believe that, but then, I realize it has to be the right time for the child to hear the truth."

"I agree," Ben said. "And about the picnic tomorrow - I might like to go too. You mind?"

"No, not at all. I can always use an extra set of eyes to watch her."

"And Joe," Ben added. "I'm sure he could use some relaxation, take in a little fishing. Maybe even Hoss will feel up to coming along. He said his head doesn't hurt as much as it did and even sat up for a good while."

Adam nodded. "Maybe even Hop Sing would like to come and forgo going into Chinatown. He's recovering from that head injury and all."

"We'll have to ask him. I haven't been on a Sunday picnic in a long time. Might even take a dip in the lake. Kitty ever been swimming?"

"Not that I know, but we'll find out."

Ben smiled. "Goodnight, Adam. Looking forward to tomorrow. A picnic."

"Goodnight, Pa. And, Pa…."

Ben turned.

"You know I…" Adam couldn't say the words, so he used a substitute that he hoped would convey his love for his father. "I'd do anything to save you, Pa, as I believe you would for me. I didn't know before what a father's love for his child was truly like – not until Kitty."

"Then you know how I feel about you, son."

"I don't know that I'm worth it, Pa."

"That's the wonder of a parent's love; the child doesn't have to be."

~ Finis ~


End file.
